weinerWith all this talk about the Anthony Weinergate scandal, I find myself craving something long and plump. Something hot. Something I can really bite off and chew. Maybe if I tweet my craving, someone will respond -- perhaps with a salacious-looking photo.

I'm thinking about a hot dog, of course! What did you think I meant?!?

So far one eatery near me is capitalizing on Weinergate with their own hot dog special. But if you're not in Brooklyn, here's how to sink your teeth into the perfect wiener all summer. 

Der Kommisar is selling Anthony's "Deeply Ashamed" Weiners for $6: two hot dogs on French bread drizzled with olive oil with sauerkraut and a pickle on the side. I'm still trying to figure out where the "deeply ashamed" part comes in the dish. Is it because olive oil has no business glistening off the surface of a hot dog? 

At any rate, I have been scouring the Internet for more Anthony-related hot dog specials and Der Kommisar appears to be the only one. What's the deal? That's so un-American! Why would a business miss out on the opportunity to capitalize on a national scandal? When has bad taste ever come between a retailer and making a buck? 

Well, maybe the whole Weiner business just leaves a bad taste in people's mouths. I get that. I'm sure the owner of Tony's Hot Dogs is glad now that he went with that name for his eatery instead of, say, "Anthony's Wieners." Boy, that would suck about now.

A conservative blogger (who probably wanted Weiner out of the House anyway) is planning a 4th of July Weinergate picnic. So if you're in the Los Angeles area and like waving flags, ranting about the economy, and grilling hot dogs, this event is for you.

Okay, enough with the Weiner jokes. Can we be serious for a moment? Because there are two tragedies associated with wieners: overcooking and buying the wrong wiener.

Overall I love all Applewood Farms hot dogs, but their truly wiener-ish Big Apple Hot Dogs are the bomb. You want a sausage with skin that snaps, and these deliver. Niman Ranch's Fearless Franks are also excellent. And you can't go wrong with Nathan's Famous Bigger-Than-The-Bun franks

At a block party this weekend, I grilled some vegetarian hot dogs for someone else. Lord have mercy. All I can say is, you're better off throwing one of your kids' plastic toys on the grill and eating that instead.

As for cooking, you don't want to undercook (health hazard) but you also don't want to sear these puppies until they burst or leak. I've always been partial to grilling over low, cooler coals, but I just read about another method via the Paupered Chef: steam in a shallow pan of boiling water, then finish by searing with melted butter. Well all right then, I think I'll have to give that a try! 

Has Weinergate ruined hot dogs for you?


Image via ddaarryyn/Flickr