The Believer's Rapture Party Planning Guide

Nicole Fabian-Weber
19

balloonsHappy Rapture Eve, everyone! Since this is the first -- and last -- day-before-Rapture we've ever had, I bet a lot of you are scratching your heads as how to the heck one should celebrate. A lot of non-believers are planning "Rapture parties," aka "Judgment Day parties," aka just another day of drinking/cursing/fornicating for them. Stupid atheists. One group in Orange County -- aka Devil's County -- is even planning a "Masturbate-a-Thon," entitled "Arm(and Hand)-ageddon." If for some reason they don't go to hell on Saturday, they can rest assured that a warm and toasty spot will be waiting for them when their time comes.

Enough about the non-believers, though. What about the rest of us who are all packed and ready to rise to Jesus's Kingdom? How should we spend our last night on earth? Why not have our own (civilized) Rapture parties?! After the jump, check out the step-by-step guide to planning your perfect rapture party. Hope you have a glue gun!

The Food. Everybody knows that the main ingredient to a good party is the num-nums. And since this party will basically be featuring everybody's "last meal," you'll want to have a little something for everyone. Phone up friends beforehand and ask each of them what they'd like, and try to accommodate as much as you can. Just be sure to monitor people's eating throughout the party, though. It's their last night on earth, they may veer towards gluttony.

The Drinks. Obviously your Rapture party won't be featuring alcohol, but that doesn't mean you can't serve a fun "mocktail" in a fancy glass. Try whipping up a Doomsday Spritzer or a JD-tini. Just mix your favorite juice with some seltzer, throw in a few ice cubes and a couple of cherries, and voila! Time to party!

The Decor. This is a tricky one because you don't want to go too crazy with the decorating as, well, it's probably going to get swallowed up by the earth a few hours later. But you do want to add a little something festive to your soiree. Try hot gluing photos of your non-believer friends and co-workers to lampshades around the house. As the party goes on, the photos will get hot, and you can see what it's going to look like when they melt in real life!

The Music. This is easy. There is none. Just tune in to Family Radio all night for minute-by-minute updates of what's to come. And I mean, dancing at parties? That's disgusting. 

How will you celebrate Rapture Eve?

 

Image via Pink Sherbet Photography/Flickr

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