vegan black metal chefHe scares me. I'll start off by admitting that -- Vegan Black Metal Chef, with his sharp claw rings and his growly voice. And yet, I cannot look away. Why? Because in his cooking video he makes evil-genius good Pad Thai.

Yes, readers, I learned some sharp cooking tips from Vegan Black Metal Chef. And you, too, can view his video below. Be warned: he calls upon the powers of Satan toward the end (for a good cause, of course). If you're afraid to see the video, I've jotted down his best tips. But since it's subtitled, you can also watch the video with the volume off. Then again, if metal is your thing you'll want to crank it up.

 

 

Tips from Vegan Black Metal Chef:

  1. I've made Pad Thai with tofu before, and it always turns into crumbly mush. Vegan Black Metal Chef's solution is to soak the water out of the tofu by pressing it on paper towels with something heavy on top.
  2. Don't cut your tofu too thin or when you deep fry you'll just have "gristle." I didn't know vegetable products could have gristle, but I think I get what he means. If it's cut too thin, it will fry up like tough little pieces of leather.
  3. Want crushed peanuts but don't have a food processor? Crush the peanuts in two plastic bags with a rolling pin or a heavy pot. Note that Vegan Black Metal Chef uses two bags. I've tried crushing nuts in one bag and it always tears.
  4. Peeling off the skin from garlic cloves is tedious and difficult. But crushing the cloves first helps get the skin off quickly.
  5. Don't bother mincing the garlic -- just grate it right in! Super easy.
  6. Adding tomato smooths out the flavors. I did not know this. I've never put tomato in my Pad Thai.
  7. Once all your ingredients are in the pot, stir so nothing gets stuck on the bottom.

Vegan Black Metal Chef uses approximate measurements, but if you prefer using exact measurements here's my best guess:

  • 1 cup sugar
  • 1/4 cup peanuts
  • 1 tablespoon tamarind stuff
  • 1/2 teaspoon chili powder
  • 1 1/2 cups water
  • 1 tablespoon vinegar
  • 2-3 tablespoons peanut butter

Is it me, or does anyone else suspect Vegan Black Metal Chef is Nigella Lawson in disguise? She uses that same garlic grating trick. Also, something about the voice -- just a hunch. By the way, you can substitute summoning the heat of Satan with regular stove-top heat, but it probably won't be quite as good.

Image via VeganBlackMetalChef/YouTube.