Cops Commit Most Embarrassing NYC Crime

Nicole Fabian-Weber

cop carA few days ago, New York City police officers were quick to respond to a call that involved golden crispy crust and hot gooey cheese. The scene? Papa John's pizza on Second and 25th. The crime? Parking two squad cars in the bike lane so they could enjoy a large, plain pie. During rush hour.

Really, officers? You're really doing this? You're just gonna go ahead and make a caricature of yourself like that? Alright, but you could have at least fully committed and gone into a donut shop! What is this, Amateur Night at the Apollo?

No, truth be told, the main crime in this scenario isn't the fact that the officers parked in the bike lane. I think we're all a little used to cops bending the rules a bit. The real crime is that they were eating Papa John's. In New York City. What the crap?


This is the place for pizza. The first thing out of town visitors want to do when they come here is get a "New York slice." You're going to embarrass our city like that and break the law for a Papa John's pie? That was the stuff I ate upstate when I was in college (dipped in blue cheese and hot sauce, thankyouverymuch). You don't eat that in New York City! You go Ray's! You go to Lombardi's! You go to Otto! (You go to Brooklyn.) Anywhere, but Papa John's.

I liken this type of behavior to dining at a Red Lobster while in the Mediterranean. Reserving a table at the Olive Garden when in Rome. Ducking into an Au Bon Pain while in Paris. You see where I'm going with this? It just doesn't make sense.

So, guys, next time you pull some illegal stuff just to get your eat on, do NYC a favor -- don't go to a chain pizza joint.

What do you think of the cops parking in the bike lane to get a couple of slices?


Image via neoliminal/Flickr

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