Get Me an Edible Arrangement for Mother's Day & You'll Be Sorry

Jacqueline Burt Cote
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edible arrangementApparently, the must-have Mother's Day gift this year is an Edible Arrangement. Yes, I'm talking about those made-to-order baskets of fruit filled with melon slices and berries cut to look like flowers (or, more accurately, a 3-year-old's crayon drawing of "flowers"). You know, the ones everybody is supposed to love, but I don't? (By the way, I can't possibly be the only one who feels this way -- anti-Edible Arrangement sentiments are even making headlines in the world of "fake" news.) Maybe I missed my mandatory dose of Edible Arrangement Kool-Aid, but please don't get me an Edible Arrangement for Mother's Day!

To me these things look like a preschool art project or something an office manager would order in an attempt to brighten up a weekly staff meeting. An assemblage of pineapple daisies put together with toothpicks could be cute on a baby shower buffet table. But as a meaningful thanks for everything you do, woman who brought me into the world? Not so much.

It's not like these things are cheap, either -- most of the special "Mother's Day" options on the Edible Arrangements website hover between $60 and $120. If you're going to spend that much money on me, get me a mani-pedi or a massage, not a fruit salad. Or don't spend any money on me at all, just let me take a nap. Bring me a glass of orange juice or something if you're worried about me getting scurvy. Or if my kids wanted to make me a bouquet of fruit flowers themselves, that would be sweet. But something lovingly crafted by someone wearing plastic gloves and a hairnet? Call it sour grapes, but ... no thanks.

Would you want an Edible Arrangement for Mother's Day?

 

Image via Jay.Tong/Flickr

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