Reduced Strength Booze Is Only Fit for Toddlers

Nicole Fabian-Weber

beerThis past Valentine's Day, I cooked a delicious meal for my husband -- pulled pork and mashed potatoes -- and, classy gal that I am, I stopped at CVS for a fine bottle of vino to accompany the meal. When I got home, cracked it open a half hour before my husband got home, and took a sip -- blech! What the hell is this crap?! Oh, it's just reduced-strength alcohol. Nothin' to see here. Reduced-strength alcohol? Who on earth would want that?

Actually, lots of convenience and grocery stores. In fact, for some, like the ones in Colorado, it's all they sell. And despite the fact that the people don't want it this way (who would?), today was the fourth time a bill was rejected that would have allowed them to sell full-strength beer.

I don't get it. Reduced-strength booze? I've never even heard of this stuff until recently, and you still need to be 21 to buy it. What in the sam hell is it doing here on planet earth?

The point of allowing beer and wine and Skinny Girl Margaritas to be sold at convenience stores is, well, it's convenient. It's one less stop you need to make when buying your groceries, or paper towels, or Sally Hansen nail polish. I don't understand the point of selling booze -- but not totally selling booze. Who is going to buy this stuff? Not this wino. Not a woman holding a dinner party. Not a kid with a fake I.D. You bet your ass he'll be down at the liquor store trying to score a bottle of the real stuff. The only thing reduced-strength beer and wine is doing is taking up inventory space.

And I thought Colorado was all laid-back. Last time I was there visiting a friend, all we did was hike, eat, drink, and sleep. And that didn't seem like a deviation from her normal routine. By the time I left, I think my blood pressure had plummeted 40 points, and three years were added on to my life. You're not going to allow regular-strength booze there of all places? I can understand New York City, but Denver? No comprende, kimosabes.

I say pass the bill, and while we're at, can't we just get rid of this reduced-strength crap altogether? I really don't know who's drinking it. And if anyone is, why. If you don't want alcohol, don't drink it. It's actually very simple.

What do you think of reduced-strength beer?


Image via Tim Pearce, Los Gatos/Flickr

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