Everyone who likes wine raise your hand. Everyone who likes convenience raise your hand. Then it's unanimous, wine kiosks at Wal-Mart are a great idea! Relax, though, unless you live in Pennsylvania, you may have to wait a few more years to reap the benefits.
The Pennsylvania Liquor Control Board already operates wine vending machines (wine vending machines!) in a few grocery stores throughout the state. Now, the all mightly Wal-Mart is looking to get on board, you know, spice up their inventory a bit. And to that I say: hell yes!
Basically, it would work like this:
You're shopping your way through Wal-Mart, having a grand ol' time.
You: "Oh, what's this, a new comforter? Sure, I'll add that to my cart ... Hey, I didn't think I needed a giant bag of Blow Pops, but what the hell ... Oh, man, silver spray paint! Definitely getting this ..."
Then, as you round your cart towards the register to pay for the nine things you got instead of two, you see what looks like a glowing light, a beacon of hope in an otherwise nonsensical, wallet-draining mega store. You get a little closer. Is it ...? It is! It's a wine vending machine!
You approach the vending machine, tentatively at first -- you don't want to get your hopes up, then your pace quickens when you realize your eyes are not deceiving you. You swipe your drivers license, blow into the breathalyzer (which, I hope Wal-Mart has the sanitation aspect of that down pat), pick out your bottle of wine, drink the entire bottle while watching ABC's What Would You Do? over a romantic dinner with your loved one.
How great is this, people? I lived in Los Angeles for nine years and Target sells wine there, and it was awesome. Let me tell you -- it was an adjustment, getting used to Targets that don't sell booze. I mean, every Friday it was my one-stop shop. I would head in there after work, maybe grab an eight-pack of paper towels, an Isaac Mizrahi shirt, and a couple bottles of wine. No extra stops. No having to go out of my way. Everything I needed was right there.
So, needless to say, I am excited about wine kiosks coming to a Wal-Mart near me. I mean, I don't live in Pennsylvania. Hell, I don't even live near a Wal-Mart. But, one day, I will. And my life will be so much easier.
What do you think about wine kiosks coming to Wal-Mart?
Image via jessicamelling/Flickr