pizzaWell, friends, Obama never called. That last minute invite I was hoping for never came through, so alas, I didn't get to watch the Super Bowl at the White House.

Normally I would be kind of insulted, but after seeing what was on their Super Bowl party menu, I'm freaking glad I wasn't invited. I don't think my arteries could've survived the cholesterol bath that was the buffet table. I'm really concerned about J. Lo, seeing as she was a party guest. It's possible she'll still have the meat sweats from the Obama feast during Hollywood week! And a sweaty J. Lo is not a happy J. Lo.

And other guests, like some of the politicians, aren't exactly in tip top shape. Is there word yet on the survival rate from the party? Did anyone make it out alive?

Everything on the menu pretty much guaranteed a heart-attack in a big way. Let's take a look.

 

  • Bratwurst
  • Kielbasa
  • Cheeseburgers
  • Deep Dish Pizza
  • Buffalo Wings
  • German Potato Salad
  • Twice Baked Potatoes
  • Snyders Potato Chips and Pretzels
  • Chips and Dips
  • Salad
  • Ice Cream

They would've been better off with a table full of bacon fat topped with bacon bits dipped in bacon grease, re-fried and served over a bed of Lipitor.

Good grief, Obama! Which one of your guests did you have it in for? I'm wondering what Michelle thought of the menu -- just today she announced a plan to fight childhood obesity by making school lunches healthier and restaurant kids' portions smaller. So ... where was the crudites, Michelle?

This is just terrible. Health, and health-care, have been tent poles in the administration, so it's disheartening to see a menu from the White House that totally disses your heart. (See what I did there?)

If anyone was at the White House on Sunday and lived to tell, please write in and let us know what hospital we can send flowers to.

Are you shocked by the White House Super Bowl menu?

Photo via ryemang/Flickr