Royal Wedding Menu Is Royally Annoying

Julie Ryan Evans

Kate Middleton and Prince WilliamAlong with all the other details we're dying to know about the upcoming royal wedding between Prince William and Kate Middleton is: What are they going to eat on the big day? While an official royal wedding menu hasn't been released, Princess Diana's former chef, Darren McGrady, has predicted what's going to be on it (anyone taking bets?), and it sounds royally unimpressive.

He says it may start following the ceremony with a champagne breakfast including things like smoked salmon and sausage rolls, which are always a hit -- are those kind of like pigs in a blanket?

Apparently, there will be no big sit down meal, but rather a buffet. A buffet?! If I'm going to a ROYAL wedding, I'd expect my own personal waiter, not having to stand in line and schlep for myself alongside everyone else. But apparently that's the "modern" thing to do.

He goes on to say that foods may include things like steak and rice and cottage pie. COTTAGE PIE?! Cottage pie is basically the English version of shepherd's pie, and you're going to serve that at a ROYAL wedding? C'mon, I've had more elegant fare at a wedding at the VFW Hall.

How about some $4,000 sushi, or La Bonnotte potatoes that run about $322 a pound? Shock us; wow us; give us our dream royal wedding, dammit!

It's not just the wedding menu either, it's their whole approach to this royal thing. Just recently they announced they won't be having any servants. No servants?! Prince Charles has 140 servants, but this couple will have nary a maid or butler. How royally annoying. Don't even get me started on her wearing $78 dresses from Top Shop.

It's all well and good that they're trying to be so relatable to us commoners, but STOP IT. You aren't tricking us. You are ROYAL as in princes and princesses, castles, kingdoms -- the stuff of our fairy tales. Please don't ruin it for us, act royal!

What do you think of the predicted royal wedding menu and the couple trying to be so un-royal?

Image via Niquinho/Flickr

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