Chefs That Should Join Juan Carlos Cruz in Food Jail

paula deenIs there something in the water -- or food -- that's making celeb chefs run afoul of the law? Gordon Ramsay keeps running into legal troubles, mostly from financial problems. Mario Batali, after being sued by employees for stolen tips, is filing a countersuit against said employees. And, horrifically, former Food Network chef Juan-Carlos Cruz was sentenced to nine years in the clink last week for trying to solicit two homeless men to murder his wife. What's wrong with these dudes? If Anthony Bourdain can manage to stay out of court, the rest of them should be able to, as well.

Are these legal troubles reflective of a trend in the food industry? Because if that's the case, I can think of some celebrity chefs who have committed crimes against food and humanity. And I'm demanding justice.


Sandra Lee: Good god, is there anyone less of a chef on the Food Network? She should do time for her atrociously offensive "culinary" disasters, like her Kwanzaa cake COVERED IN CORN NUTS (and popcorn) or her Hanukkah cake that utilizes marshmallows (as in, those little treats made with gelatin, which is usually made from pig, which is not kosher). Granted, she's about to be the unofficial First Lady of New York, as her longtime boyfriend Andrew Cuomo was elected governor in November, so I bet she'd be pardoned. Lady justice, she isn't blind.

Guy Fieri: While the fun-guy motorhead actually visits some fun restaurants on his show Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives, his idea of what "look" constitutes "fun" is just ... wrong. Tacky sunglasses? Check. Spiky, bleached hair inappropriate for his age? Check. Ugly flame shirts? Check. This guy is a walking midlife crisis, not the "bad boy" chef Food Network wants us to think he is. Take it down a notch, bud, and focus on the food.

Paula Deen: Michelle Obama wants to combat childhood obesity? Maybe she should take on Deen, who's been slathering things with butter and deep-frying anything she can get her hands on (including butter) for years. I love Southern food, and I'm all about eating almost anything, but in moderation, and I have yet to see Paula Deen offer up anything in moderation besides fresh vegetables. This Thanksgiving, she deep fried stuffing on a stick. Come on, lady. This ain't the Iowa State Fair. Give your arteries a break. Eat some oatmeal.

What celebrity chefs do you think are guilty of crimes against food?


Image via lifescript/Flickr

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