10 Reasons Not to Bake for Christmas

Adriana Velez
Food & Party


I know I'm going to sound like the baking Grinch here, but I'm through with holiday baking! I simply can't handle the pressure.

After a horrendous disagreement last night with my stove while baking cookies for an upcoming cookie swap, I was left covered in flour, a room filled with smoke, and the countertop lined with bits of smashed pecans, while the cat was licking up chocolate sauce from the floor and leaving little floured paw prints everywhere.

And I can't even use what I baked because it's scorched!!!

*Deep breath*

I'm definitely more of a cooker than a baker -- I can flip a crepe like Julia Child, but when it comes to baking, it's very hit or miss for me. Sometimes I create masterpieces; other times you can't even recognize what they were supposed to be. (No, those aren't lumps of fudge, they're sugar cookies!)

Especially during the holidays, it can be a lot of pressure. So I'm tossing the apron, and giving you 10 reasons why you shouldn't give in to holiday baking pressure.

  1. Think of all the money you'll save: Chocolate, pecans, flour, sugar, eggs, butter, semi-sweet baking chocolate, peanut butter ... the grocery list goes on. Buying all of those ingredients can get expensive. Frankly, it's just easier to buy the plastic container of already-made sugar cookies from your grocer's bakery.
  2. No temptations: Even if you're baking for other people, you always seemingly have leftovers to nibble on at home. Trying to keep the weight off during the holiday season is hard enough, but at least you can be free of tempting fudge inside your home.
  3. Free time: Something that we don't have enough of, especially during the holiday season. Instead of laboring in the kitchen, you could be sitting down in front of your favorite classic Christmas special with a cup of hot cocoa. 
  4. Guilt-free: Speaking of time, sometimes you just simply don't have it, and we shouldn't feel guilty about it. So instead of trying to squeeze in baking desserts for the office Christmas party, just say screw it. Offer to bring the chips.
  5. No meltdowns: See scenario above.
  6. Face it, you're not Martha Stewart: Someone is more than likely always going to be better than you at baking, and for competitive people like me, that's not a good thing and usually ends in disaster.
  7. Escape from temper tantrums: With no cookies in the house, your kids can't whine, scream, and cry about wanting one. Or five. Peace on Earth, indeed.
  8. Embarrassment: I had to call the host of the cookie swap and tell her that unfortunately I couldn't attend, because there's no way in hell I'm bringing scorched cookies. Even if the cookies didn't burn, that split second between your peers taking the first bite of your baked good and seeing their immediate expression (is it the best thing they've ever tasted? Do they want to hurl?) is excruciating.
  9. Santa prefers Oreos: It's a fact. At least that's my story and I'm stickin' to it. 
  10. Food poisoning: Especially with the recent nutmeg recall, no one wants to be the asshole who makes everyone get diarrhea at Christmas. 

If you don't usually bake during the holidays, what's your reasoning?


Image via rasdourian/Flickr

Read More