For Your Loathed Ones: Worst Holiday Foodie Gifts


candy cane noseLet's face it, there's a lot of bad holiday food getting passed around there. You have your heirloom fruitcake. Then there's the box of summer sausage with "cheese food" and crackers. The dusty candy box of Christmas past. Regifted decorative bottles of flavored oil you'll never use. Broken candy canes. Let's not forget the weird meats of the month club. Rattlesnake, huh?

You know not to send anyone those gifts.

But maybe there's someone truly deserving on your gift list, someone you're obligated to send something, but someone you secretly hate. What do you send these lucky souls?

We'll tell you what ...


food bling

Edible Bling Spray: Food is so boring by itself. You know what it needs? Shiny gold spray.







fruit basketGeneric Fruit Basket: Nothing says "Dear X, have a moderately tolerable holiday season" like a basket full of hard, under-ripe, out-of-season pears. Go on, throw in a bottle of two-buck Chuck while you're at it.





gum basketWrigley’s Fabulous Fruit Gum Gift Basket™:  For the dentist who handled your root canal and kept telling you "that's enough Novocaine!"








canned hamCanned Ham: Cured with SODIUM ERYTHOBATE -- my favorite!







nutsDIY Nut Job: Thanks for the decorative tin filled with walnuts and pecans -- that I have to shell myself! Do I look like I have a lot of time on my hands?





largest gummy wormWorld's Largest Gummy Worm: Eeeeeew! Unless you are sending this to a 7-year-old boy, in which case this is genius.







mil kimcheeArtisan Kimchi: Look, I love this stuff. And it's on every hipster foodie list I've seen this season. Seriously. But am I sending it to my sister? My son's teacher? My 85-year-old mother-in-law? Hell no. Give the the gift of kimchi only to your most adventurous foodie friends; otherwise, you're just showing off.






four lokoFour Loko: For the college students in your life. Bundle with a can of instant coffee and you have the perfect study aid!






fetal bitesFetal Bites Cookie Cutters: Bake your family a batch of controversy. Guaranteed to start a family feud -- and let's face it, no family holiday is complete without at least one screaming match, right. (Oh fine, I guess that's just my family.)





And finally, my least-favorite food gift of all: anything labeled with the word GOURMET. If you have to slap it on the bottle, it probably isn't.

What bad holiday foods will you be gifting your frenemies this year?


Images via Evil Erin/Flickr,, Anna and Andy/, Walmart, IainBuchanan/Flickr,,,,


christmas, holiday gifts, suggestions, themed


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kisse... kisses5050

hehehhe! As one who loves to get food baskets as gifts ( cooking being a passion) this post hits the mark on that fine line of what is a "tasteful" food gift.

ocmom... ocmommy2two

I want that gummy worm...

lovin... lovinangels

I want the gum basket.

Scarves Zhao

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knfisch knfisch

I love fruit baskets!! If someone sent me an edible arangments fruit basket, i'd kiss them!!

cheez1e cheez1e

I also want the gum basket. Feel free to send it to me!

tazdvl tazdvl


onceu... onceuponapuzzle

Some great ideas!  I have to buy gifts for a lot of people I REALLY don't like... I know, not exactly the holiday spirit.... could I just sit in the corner and laugh while they opened it???

Gabriel Avila-Mooney

I once gave a friend of mine a jar of pig's feet for Christmas. Hormel brand of course. They still pull it out and offer it to me every time I visit. Makes me feel horrible.

frysh... fryshannon34

I like the gummy worm

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