Is the TSA Trying to Distract Us With Cheap Booze?

Julie Ryan Evans
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airplane boozeWant to booze up the next time you board a plane? Airlines are making it easier and more enticing than ever to do just that.

American Airlines, for one, is hosting happy hour on some flights in December. If you board a flight between 5 and 5:59 p.m., then you can drink for a discount.

Other airlines are looking to get passengers soused too. According to Chicago Breaking Business, United and Delta have both recently introduced fancy new cocktails for in-air consumption.

But why? From attacking crew members to lighting napkins on fire, there are plenty of examples of inebriated fliers exhibiting bad behavior. One would think airlines might even consider banning booze because of them, but instead they're encouraging imbibing on board?

United says its move is to thank customers, but here are a few of the real reasons airlines may want us to chug-a-lug:

1. Post-TSA Trauma Tamed

They may be in cahoots with the TSA. After a particularly aggressive pat-down or displaying all your "junk" for the ogling eyes of agents at a scanner, the numbing power of an alcoholic potion just might make us remember it as a pleasant little massage or a fun photo shoot.

2. No Need for Child-Free Flights

Give the grumpiest guy a few drinks, and he can be as loud and disruptive as the most terrible of toddlers. Using alcohol to bring adult behavior down to the level of a child just may be brilliant.

3. Seat Size Satisfaction

Forget the fact that you're sitting next to someone whose flesh is literally spilling onto your lap, and the reclined seat in front of you keeps smacking you in the face. If you're a little tipsy, it's all a big party, who needs personal space?

4. Delightful Delays

Stuck sitting on the runway for hours? No worries, let the good times roll. Bring out the quarters and other drinking games, and passengers won't even notice they're not going anywhere.

5. Fantastic Fare

With drinks flowing, no one will notice that the food sucks ... or is absent. Perhaps they will add a bar menu too -- chicken wings and nachos at 10,000 feet anyone?

6. Lost Luggage, No Worries

Who cares if you don't have your toothbrush or pajamas, you're just going to pass out anyway.

Will airline specials make you more likely to drink while flying?


Image via rick/Flickr

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