Royal Wedding: Let Me Be the Chef!

wedding cakeDear Royal Household Hiring Manager at the Buckingham Palace:

I am writing to apply for the Chef de Partie position advertised on the official website of The British Monarchy -- which I happened to stumble upon completely randomly and not at all intentionally this morning after reading

The opportunity presented in this listing is very interesting, and I believe that my unique culinary background and catering experience will make me the ideal candidate for the job.

Allow me to present my key strengths, which I believe will bring me success in this position:


First, I have vast experience catering enormous, high-profile events. Therefore, if you were planning an upcoming ... oh, I don't know ... let's say reception with hundreds of dignitaries and distinguished guests, for example; then I would be your woman!

Second, as my resume indicates, I am a pastry chef by trade, and it's so funny because my speciality just so happens to be: wedding cakes. Now, I know that this particular area of expertise is quite specific; however, rest assured that my skills do translate to other desserts like, say, for example, edible wedding favors. If ever an opportunity presented itself in which you would need matrimonial confections, you would feel confident knowing you had an expert on your team.

Finally, in addition to being proficient in the English language as well as being an online legally ordained wedding officiant, I have no plans for the Spring and/or Summer of 2011 and would be willing to devote countless hours to whichever event or events may happen to fall during that time.

The chance to work at Buckingham Palace -- which I've only ever seen from the top of a tour bus -- excites me more than I can say. I can guarantee you will find me to be nothing if not a professional and, more important, discrete employee. I appreciate you considering me for this position.


Kim Conte


Image via Karla Cakes/Flickr

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