Holy Titanic, Stranded Cruise Ship Passengers Are Eating WHAT?

Cynthia Dermody
2

spam cruise shipDoes anyone see the irony in the delivery of crates and crates of Spam to the 4,000 passengers aboard the stranded Carnival Splendor cruise ship? I do, and it has me chuckling really hard, which is good because if I wasn't I'd be getting sick at the thought of actually eating that Spam.

But here's the irony if you still fail to see it -- actually there are several levels -- because along with the Spam, the nation's military, which apparently doesn't have anything better to do with its time or aircraft carriers, is delivering cans of tinned crab meat, Pop Tarts, and croissants.

Do you see it now?

Irony Level 1

Spam. A salty, nitrate preserved chopped pork and ham mold associated with hard economic times, is being delivered to passengers on a cruise, to the Mexican Riviera. Note my carefully placed italics. Can you say WEALTHY PEOPLE? I'm sure there are a group of economy class folks stuck in the bowels of the ship somewhere, but it's safe to assume many of the passengers tend on the middle to upper-middle class end of the social strata. And instead of getting to indulge in a lavish surf and turf buffet, they get to dine on .... mystery meat. Beautiful.

Irony Level 2

So they get Spam and crab meat, Pop Tarts and croissants. I wonder WHICH class of the above mentioned passengers gets the caviar crab meat and fancy French pastry and WHICH class of passengers gets the soluble pig parts and processed carbs, HMMMM?

Irony Level 3

Like, you think there might be some people of Jewish or Muslim faiths on this cruise, perhaps? Or a vegetarian or vegan or two? Um, I'm pretty sure they can't eat pork if they follow the rules.

Irony Level 4

Hope Mr. Richy Rich likes his tinned crab meat because tinned crab meat suuuucks.

 

I'm sure the passengers will survive their harrowing ordeal that left them without running toilets and water for a day without Spam. The ship was stocked with plenty of food items that don't require refrigeration, like bread, fruits, and vegetables. They should look at this as a positive: Americans don't eat enough roughage anyway. They thought they were paying for a glutinous eat and drink fest, but they got a trendy spa detox diet instead!

Not withstanding all the alcohol passengers probably downed to make up for the disappointment of a totally ruined vacation. I'm sure Carnival will have to restock their cabinets completely after the tugboats manage to drag the poor ship to dock in San Diego on Thursday night.

Fun fact about Spam: Hawaiians eat more of our nation's Spam than any other state in the U.S. -- on average, 16 tins of Spam per person each year. It's on the menu at Hawaii's Burger Kings and McDonald's and it's often dubbed "The Hawaiian Steak."

A friendly word of warning in case you're planning a cruise to Hawaii.

Do you enjoy Spam? What would you order for dinner -- the crab meat or the pork jelly?


Image via Wyscan/Flickr


Read More