Your Complete Election Day Menu

quailYou know who you're voting for, and you know where your polling station is -- now the most important question is: What are you going to eat for election day?

Fear not, Stir readers, we've got complete coverage of your Election Day Menu Options, and we'll help you make the best food choices for yourself, your family, and America. Let the dishing begin!



Meg Whitman's huevos divorciados

A specialty of her former maid, Nicandra Diaz-Santilla, these eggs come with two different sauces, an extremely bitter salsa, and an incredibly rich cream sauce.


Grizzly burgers with organic White House mixed salad

Tough meat ground without seasoning, served on home-baked rolls. On a very separate plate, enjoy a salad of organic greens harvested by healthy, athletic, straight-A students from the White House garden.

Afternoon Tea Party

A delightful afternoon pick-me-up with your very own teapot of Red Bull and a selection of sandwiches and pastries: Alaskan salmon on white bread, cut-the-pork heroes, cherries jubilee, patriot's paranoia pecan pie. Psst -- marijuana brownies smuggled in by California liberals.


Pre-dinner cocktail

Your choice of Virgin Witch's Brew or an Aqua Buddha

Ben's Quayle With Tater Tots

Slow-roasted in the Arizona sun, this small yet feisty bird comes atop a pillow of the famous "potatoe" dish. May or may not come with Dirty Brock-oli.

Democrat Milk Toast

A dessert fitting for the politically timid, drizzled with lukewarm coulda-woulda-shoulda syrup. 

Who will be eating humble pie? We'll have to wait to find out!

Image via Kretyen/Flickr

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