10 Halloween Candies That Will Get Your House TP’d

candy cornAfter a night of roaming the neighborhood streets dressed in some ridiculous outfit, my sister and I would plop down on our living room floor and begin The Separation.

Basically high school for candy, we'd dump out our buckets of treats and segregate the candies into three piles: The Popular Candies (full-size Snickers!), The Second String (Tootsie Rolls), and The Candy-Clearly-From-Old-People-That-We-Give-to-Our-Parents (candy corn again?).

Now that we're adults, we know better than to give out these 10 types of candies -- no one wants to be that house in the 'hood. And if you do, be prepared to fetch toilet paper out of your trees the following morning.

  1. Black & Orange Peanut Butter Candies: I'm pretty sure the Devil himself created this candy, because I have yet to meet a soul who actually likes these things, yet every year, they are mass-produced for Halloween. Why?! Why?
  2. Candy Corn: Another Halloween symbol, yet no one likes it. Sure candy corn is pretty, but the taste is awful.
  3. Charleston Chew, Mary Janes, Bit O' Honeys: What is this, 1945?
  4. Circus Peanuts: They're orange and shaped like a peanut, yet have a banana-type flavor to them. They're the candy that suffers from multiple personality disorder.
  5. Wax Candy: Wax should not ever be edible, even if it's the form of lips or bottles.
  6. Strawberry Hard Candy: The candies that are dressed up as strawberries, but never really tasted like strawberries. I understand it's Halloween, but our treats shouldn't be playing dress-up.
  7. Licorice: No one under the age of 18 likes licorice.
  8. Necco Wafers: The chalky candies are now all-natural ... yay! Actually, no, that doesn't mean jack crap for me.
  9. Dots: A big fat FAIL on fruit candy.
  10. Anything that isn't candy: I'm walking around freezing in a goofy outfit and you give me whatever you have just lying around your house because you forgot that it was Halloween. Raisins? Really? I ought to smack you across the face with my cape.

What is your least favorite kind of candy?


Image via emilyonasunday/Flickr

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