Don't be deceived by the "Seth Caro, Age 34" identifier flashing across your screen during Top Chef Just Desserts. The dude is actually an immature child trapped inside of an adult body. Actual age: 3, maybe 4, on a good day.
What else can you say about someone who throws tantrums, cries profusely, hides under the table until a guest judge coaxes him out, and yells at his fellow contestants -- all on national television?
Seth's childish antics may be some of the most despicable thus far in the Top Chef franchise, but WOW does it make for some good TV. (It's such a relief from the snorefest that was Top Chef DC.)
The episode begins with a fun Quickfire Challenge: The pastry chefs must create a dish for Gail Simmons and guest judge Elizabeth Falkner using penny candy like Lemon Drops, Jawbreakers, licorice, Atomic Fireballs, Pop Rocks ... you get the idea.
For the most part the chefs embrace the challenge, although a couple -- I'm pointing the finger at you Heather C.! -- for some reason refuse to incorporate candy into their dessert at all. However, that mistake is overshadowed by Seth, who chooses this opportunity to have a complete meltdown when his sorbet doesn't freeze correctly.
There's sobbing. There's hiding under the table. There's choice lines like, "The Red Hots are for my mommy." Elizabeth Falkner has to literally step in and calm him down with a hug and some kind words. I can't watch! I can't watch! Oh, but I can. And it's excruciatingly uncomfortable.
Danielle wins the challenge with her upscale worms in dirt and gets immunity, but no one really cares because we're too interested to see what Seth will do next.
And, oh, he doesn't disappoint.
Gail takes the pastry chefs to a new restaurant called The Tar Pit for the Elimination Challenge in which they have to create a dessert inspired by a great cocktail using ingredients from behind the restaurant's bar.
When Seth can't find grapefruit juice for his dessert, he lashes out against the other chefs who -- it should be noted -- are cheering him on:
Why are people against me? ... Why are you saying anything? I'm broke. My mom has over $100,000 in medical bills. I'm not here for fun. I'm here to save my life."
Uh, overshare much?
I feel for him. I do. But, dude, pull it together! Apparently, Morgan agrees. He yells at Seth to stop being an $sshole.
Yet, the train wreck continues through to the end. Seth not only manages to piss off the other chefs even more by running frantically around the kitchen, getting in the way, and (allegedly) knocking Zac's chocolate squares to the floor, he also lands himself in the bottom three with an overdone blueberry gimlet dessert. Alas, Tim is sent packing for his curdled soup -- you didn't think Bravo would pass up on the crazy that early, do you?
And Erika wins for her margarita bombe, which, quite frankly, after all the drama I could use right about now -- minus the bombe.
Is Seth on his way to being the Kelly Bensimon of the Top Chef world?
Image via BravoTV.com