A Sin Tax on Fast Food Drive-Thrus? Best. Idea. Ever.

drive-thruWe as a country are fat. Why are we fat? Because we eat a crap load of fast food. Why do we fast food? Because it's, well, fast (yes, I'm clearly Captain Obvious). We can cruise our cars up to a drive-thru window and be stuffing our faces with a greasy burger within 2.5 minutes.

But what would you do if you had to pay extra for the drive-thru factor? I'll tell what I'd be -- skinny.

Well, my fellow fatty fatty pork chops, we may very well be facing that in the near future.


In an effort to raise money for road repairs, the West Virginia Department of Transportation is toying with the idea of placing a 6 percent tax on foods that are purchased through drive-thrus. Not sure what seniority the department of transportation has over McDonald's, but I can already hear the outcry of pissed off customers everywhere:

"But I don't have time to go into the restaurant!"

"You try taking three kids into a McDonald's!"

"I work late hours, and the restaurant portion isn't open ... how will I eat?"

Here's the answer to all three: Don't eat fast food.

Ooo, lightbulb.

Placing a sin tax on fast food drive-thrus will undoubtedly create a vicious spiral. The parking lot will be packed, therefore you'll spend more time circling to find a spot. Once you get inside the restaurant with your circus of kids, it will be so crowded that you'll want to beat someone over the head with a Happy Meal toy. Then you finally order and chow down on your greasy fries. Now tell me, are those fries (and the pounds you're packing on) worth all of that extra headache? Are they?

Suddenly, fast food restaurants have lost their convenience appeal. So you stop going, and then, voila! You're healthier because of it.

Best. Idea. Ever.

Now if only the rest of the country will hop on board the taxing train.

What do you think of placing a tax on drive-thru food? Best or worst idea ever?


Image via ASurroca/Flickr

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