Danger in the Kitchen! 15 Food-Related Injuries

Brittny Drye
10

knivesOh the sacrifices we make to the food gods while cooking or eating our favorite meals. There are so many food-related injuries out there that it makes a kitchen seem like a friggin' battlefield -- injuries that go way beyond the typical sliced finger and bitten tongue, because let's face it, it takes a real culinary genius to manage these 15 painful goofs:

1. Pizza Burn: Easily prevented with patience, but waiting for that deliciously cheesy pizza to cool down is easier said than done. So you're willing to give it a shot ... thinking that if you angle it just so ... AGH! Nice try, but you're always left with a week of pain on the roof of your mouth. Immediately pop a piece of ice, using your tongue to hold it against the burnt area to help prevent further damage. The next week avoid hot and spicy foods, and feel guilt-free about eating ice cream -- it'll help soothe the pain.

2. Jalapeno Hands: To me, as tasty as jalapenos are, they're just not worth the injury risk. But if you're daring, always cut jalapenos with gloves on, and if you do happen to get it on your skin, combat the burn with dairy products (sour cream works wonders), vinegar, or lemon juice.

3. Jalapeno Eyes: Even worse than jalapeno hands, if you get the jalapeno juices in your eyes, you're in for some nasty pain. Though rinsing with water may help, rinsing with milk works much better (sounds gross, but trust me, it works).

jalapeno

Yeah, he's laughing at you.

4. Popcorn Eyes: When your eyes get steamed from staring immediately into a just opened bag of freshly popped popcorn. No cure here, just don't be a dummy by doing it in the first place.

5. Tiger Stripe: The burns you get from the grill or oven rack. Handle it like you would any other burn, and try not to be so lazy next time and actually use the proper utensils.

6. Grated Knuckle: I have been guilty of this so many times -- grating cheese and then scraaape, along with the cheese comes a chunk of your skin. And the only thing you can do is douse it in alcohol, wrap it up, and keep on going. And unfortunately, there's not much to prevent the grated knuckle injury except good old-fashioned attention, or wearing hugely thick gloves.

7. Cast Iron Killer: Every time, every friggin' time! I'm used to cooking with regular pots and pans, but when I cook with a cast iron, I always grab the handle without a mitt. You'd think I'd learn after, oh, the 167th time.

8. Elbow Burn: Tsk, tsk, another burn for being lazy (don't worry, I'm guilty of it, too). I'm willing to bet that if you had pulled out the oven rack completely, you would have not burned your elbow on the side of the oven.

9. Eyebrow Removal: This is the main reason why I always have someone else light the gas burner. If you get too close while doing so, you run the risk of getting your lashes or eyebrows singed off. Not exactly a good look for me.

10. Chip Chomp Cuts: Doritos and Tostitos are evil chips because of the pain they cause when you bite down on one of their deadly corners. Ouch!

doritos and rum

Drink enough, and you won't even feel the pain.

11. Captain Crunch Shredding: You know how you're left with that weird feeling on the roof of your mouth after chowing down on this kids' cereal? It's because it's so crunchy that it's shredding the roof of your mouth. Hey kiddos, want to eat shards of glass for breakfast? Try letting it soak in the milk for a few minutes before eating to prevent shredding.

12. Spice Lung: Inhaling spices can have a lot of benefits: clears sinuses, home remedies for colds, etc. But if you're as healthy as an ox, a big whiff of a strong spice and you might be hurtin'.

13. Citrus Finger: When you're peeling a fruit such as an orange, lemon, or lime and the rinds and juices get under your fingernail -- ow! Best you can do is try to wash your hands thoroughly immediately after, and use manicure tools to get any residue out.

14. Oven Eyes: When the heat of the oven escapes right into your eyeballs, roasting them. Patience is a virtue, my friend. So be patient, or wear shades next time.

15. Bagel Hand: A lovely cut, usually stemmed from holding a bagel in one hand, and cutting through its entirety while holding it with the other (unfortunate) hand. I have a friend who's a doctor in NY and he told me he couldn't count on two hands (heh) how many people he's had to sew up for this each weekend.

What's the worst food-related injury you've ever encountered? Have you ever done any of these?

 

Image via Andi Licious/Flickr, OakleyOriginals/Flickr, SpecialKRB/Flickr

 

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