ronald mcdonald
Does this child look happy to you?
Fast food restaurants can blame their decline in sales on people becoming more health-conscious, but we know the real reasoning ... it's those damn mascots that seem to get creepier and creepier.

We can thank our healthy eating to these ten creepy mascots that turned us off fast food for good:

10. Modern Ronald McDonald: Coulrophobia is the fear of clowns and thousands of people have it. And if you don't have it, ol' Ronald here may convert you. Flaming red hair, demonic grin, pasty white skin ... not to mention some old guy constantly wanting to be around children. Creepy.

ronald mcdonald

9. Old-School Ronald McDonald: After seeing the old-school version of Ronald, it makes me appreciate the modern day one much more. Just look at this guy. He's got a box taped to his head and a paper cup for a nose. WTF?

old school ronald mcdonald

8. Hamburglar: Since we're going the McDonald's route here, can we please talk about the Hamburglar? Burglars are scary enough on their own, so why would anyone make a fast food restaurant mascot out of one. Plus that creepy little cackle he does when he steals burgers.

Hamburglar

7. Arby's Oven Mitt: He's an oven mitt ... how can he sing (in a weird Frank Sinatra voice), walk, and talk? Even the girl from the photo looks like she's thinking, "How the hell are you walking around the kitchen?" This is actually what I want to do it.

Arby's

6. Little Caesar's: I'm not very impressed with the short, psychotic, half-naked, little Roman dude trying to sell me stuffed crust pizza.

Little Caesar's

5. Dairy Queen Lips: The lips floating in mid-air remind me more of the Cheshire Cat than Blizzards. And what's with the ginormous tongue?

dairy queen

4. Jack: I'm not sure if this mascot is a clown (what's with the clowns?!) or a guy with a ping pong ball stuck on his head. Either way, the mascot for Jack-In-The-Box may have witty lines, but that doesn't make up for his creepiness.

jack

3. Quizno's Rats: First off, why would you want to associate your restaurant with rats? Secondly ... why in the world would you want to associate your restaurant with psychotic-looking rats?

Quizno's rats

 

2. Domino's Noid: Back in the 80s, Domino's had this uber creepy villain mascot called the Noid with the tagline "Avoid the Noid." Goblin dude dressed in a red latex suit and bunny ears? You don't have to tell us twice.

Domino Noid

1. Burger King: Probably the creepiest mascot ever created in history, the Burger King King. I've literally had nightmares about this guy. Do I want to "Wake up with the King?" Not unless I want to have a heart attack ... from the terror, not the food.

burger king

In your opinion, what's the creepiest fast food mascot?

 

Images via Cindy Funk/Flickr, clayirving/Flickr, YouTube.com, YouTube.com, YouTube.com, YouTube.com, YouTube.com,