Miller Lite Introduces the Vortex Bottle, Plus 4 Other Dumb Beer Gimmicks

Miller Lite has introduced a new type of bottle, the Vortex, in hopes of boosting their sales. The new design consists of tiny grooves in the neck of the bottle, creating a "vortex-like" motion as you pour. Because, you know, cheap beer will definitely taste better after being swirled around.


It's supposed to give it easier drinkability, making it go down your throat faster. Which means they're basically admitting it tastes like crap and the faster you drink it, the less you'll realize how awful it is.

And I can say this because, yes, I do drink Miller Lite. What? It's cheap.

There have been a few other times when beer companies have had dumb gimmicks in hopes of boosting their sales:

  1. Coors Light's Cold Activation: The mountains on the label turn blue when cold. Apparently, touching the bottle with your hands just didn't cut it.
  2. Lime in beer: Lime is only good in a Corona ... and it needs to be a real lime, not lime flavoring.
  3. Taste protector caps: Miller Lite came up with this amazing invention. They put a removable top on their bottles, keeping out the oxygen and preventing the beer from spilling. It's called a cap. Ground-breaking.
  4. Coors Light's Window Box: The same idea as their label, but there's an actual window on the box that turns blue when the beers are cold, meaning you have two forms of confirmation that your beer is in fact cold before you grab it.

Do you remember these? In your opinion, what has been the dumbest beer gimmick?

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