POSTS WITH TAG: true blood

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    "Are you just winging it, or do you have a plan here?" I have to wonder if Pam's question to Eric during the series finale of True Blood was a tongue-in-cheek reference to the kind of criticism the show has received in its crazier of crazy moments (hmm, Lilith?). In the end, though, show-runner Bill Buckner had a clear plan: To bring it all back to Sookie and Bill. And, well, if you watched this show for its outlandish characters, sex, and bloody action, this was not the finale for you. If you watched because you enjoyed Sookie and Bill's relationship --- and the way it served as a heterosexual metaphor for the gay rights movement -- then it was the romantic and melancholy ending you craved.

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    Buckle up, True Blood fans. It's been a roller coaster ride of blood, sex, and unfortunately inconsistent seasons, but those of us who've stuck it out to the end will be rewarded on Sunday. We'll get to see Alexander Skarsgard naked again -- er, sorry, no, that might not be a thing, but we will maybe probably see most of the HBO series' story lines come to satisfying conclusions.

    Because, of course, the Internet is flooded with rumors and speculation about what will actually happen in the True Blood series finale, we thought we'd take a minute to sort out the True SPOILERS from the Lettie Mae-level crazy guesses.

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    Hope you didn't just recently eat a meal! If you're a fan of True Blood, you're probably well aware who Jim Parrack is. He has played Hoyt Fortenberry ever since the first season. In the weirdest news of the day, apparently he told Vulture that he actually drinks human blood. For, like, fun. He talked about it during the opening night of Broadway's Mice and Men, and from all accounts, it sure doesn't sound like he was kidding.

    "I was being literal. I like the real deal," he said. When he was asked why he likes drinking blood, he answered, "Um, I guess for the same reason some people want alcohol? Or for the same reason some people want, I don't know ... milk? Or Kool-Aid?"

    Ummm, drinking blood is the same thing as drinking Kool-Aid? Really? And you also gotta wonder: Exactly whose blood is this dude drinking?

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    Spoiler alert (sort of): True Blood hottie Joe Manganiello broke our hearts this week. No, not because of what happened to him on this week's episode -- and I'm not giving it away, I promise -- but because he is dating an actress who is perfect for him. This is a woman who is the epitome of the modern, funny, sexy actress. She is beyond gorgeous but simply too charismatic and down to earth to hate (as much as we'd like to).

    Honestly, Angelina and Brad need to move over a foot because Joe and his new super-famous girlfriend are the hottest couple you've seen since ... well, Angie and Brad.

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    The final season of HBO's mega-hit drama True Blood is about to hit the airwaves, so you know what that means -- another super sexy magazine cover with the stars to promote it.

    Stephen Moyer and Anna Paquin graced the cover of Entertainment Weekly for the June 27 issues, snuggled together in a coffin. Oh yeah -- and she's completely naked.

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    I've said it before and I'll say it again: I am forever confused by how certain subjects get turned into musicals. The last Broadway-bound adaptation I read about was a potential hot mess based on Kurt Cobain's life (despite Courtney Love's repeated statements that she was opposed to "any commercial exploitation of his legacy," she's now on board with a story "that reflects Kurt in the most respectful but honest way possible" -- in other words, SHOW ME THE MONEY!), and the latest WTF news from the singing/dancing front this: True Blood: The Musical.

    Yes. A True Blood musical, brought to life by the composer who has written instrumental scores for the series' entire seven seasons. Whaaaaaaaaaat.

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    Devoted fans of the show are certainly going to miss it, but I think the rest of us can agree that True Blood has run its course. With new, amazing shows like Game of Thrones and True Detective to focus on, HBO has made what was probably a very difficult decision by making season 7 the very last for True Blood. Fans who have tuned in since season 1 (raises hand) are hoping that the show will go out with a bang.

    Now that a new season 7 trailer has been released, it seems like all hell has broken loose and everyone's losing their damn minds. Quite a fitting end, and it's easy to suspect that we'll lose a few fan favorites on the way. No matter what happens or how it ends, Truebies will tune in until the very last episode. The premiere should air some time in June, meaning we've got all summer to get our very last fill of Sookie, Eric, and Bill!

    Some spoilers ahead if you have yet to see season 6!

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    I know, I know. Just because you get two hot people in a room together doesn't guarantee they're going to hit it off, get married, and make beautiful babies. To think so is just shallow. Extremely immature. Totally the antithesis of what Lena Dunham would think. 

    Consider me a 5-year-old today. When I found out who was just cast as True Blood hottie Alexander Skarsgard's co-star in the upcoming 3D Tarzan movie, I just shook my head and thought, Of course these two are going to hook up. And it's going to be a major hook-up. The kind of hook-up that makes women and men wish a sex tape would leak starring the two. Hell, if I were one of them, I'd pay someone to "accidentally" steal a sex video from one of our computers -- I mean, cha-ching! So, it's been revealed that the woman who will play Jane to Alexander's Tarzan is ... Margot Robbie!

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    Let's discuss Alexander Skarsgard. Let's first take a minute to catch our collective breath because we are about to talk about Alexander Skarsgard and just the mention of his name and the way it rolls off the tongue is like swallowing 22 dozen butterflies. Open mouths. Let those butterflies flutter out. Anticipation. Whisper now ... Alexander Skarsgard. Sigh.

    The ever-so insanely gorgeous man who plays Eric Northman has me dreaming of his every sex scene, his every removal of clothes, his perfectly chiseled body ... I lost my train of thought. Oh yes, Alexander has managed to defy all odds, not that I would expect anything less, and has shown himself -- all of his 6-foot, 4-inch Swedish amazingness -- whilst sitting on a toilet outdoors at the South Pole in -30C degree weather (-22F for the rest of us). Yes. Yes. Behold the hottest potty porn your eyes will ever see!

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    As much as I love Anna Paquin as True Blood's Sookie Stackhouse, it's sometimes easy to forget, while she's slaying and bedding hot vamps left and right, that she won an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress at age 11. In other words, she is one hell of a talented movie star, as well as a TV starlet. Well, sorry to break the news for all of you Paquin fans, but Stephen Moyer's gorgeous wife will not be reprising her role as Rogue in X-Men: Days of Future Past. I mean, if you want to get all technical about it, she actually was written into the script, shot her scene, and therefore reprised her role. But this is Hollywood, where nothing is ever set in stone -- Academy Award or not -- and, well, Anna's scene ended up on the cutting room floor. And darn it, Anna deserves better.

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