Let's face it, Kristin Cavallari practically wrote the book of love. And she definitely lived out every break-up victim's dream when she made her ex-fiance eat his heart out after he called off their engagement. She's been giving hope to broken-hearted single girls everywhere.

Ever since her debut on Dancing With the Stars, Cavallari has made a new name for herself. With her sequined outfits and sexy cha-cha, she's been turning heads like never before. No longer is she known as Jay Cutler's ex-fiance, she's, like, so over that. Or so I thought ...

Shockingly, the reality diva has made the biggest break-up mistake ever and we're starting to realize she might not be as smart in the relationship department as we once thought.

Happy Birthday, Heidi Montag!I'll admit it, months after Heidi Montag endured 10 surgeries in one day, I didn't think she looked that awful. (Note: Yes, she scared the bejesus out of me, but I've definitely seen worse. Ahem, Ali Lohan.) After the intense swelling subsided, Montag didn't resemble a 40-year-old stripper as much as she did on the cover of PEOPLE. However, it's been almost two years since her infamous surgery stint and it seems as though -- just in time for her 25th birthday -- she's back to looking like a dried-up porn star. What's up with that?

If you find yourself endlessly stalking your ex-boyfriend's Facebook page while listening to Whitney Houston's "I Will Always Love You" on repeat, you might be suffering from post-traumatic break-up syndrome.

This tragic (sometimes incurable) syndrome is when women are dumped and left with nothing but an empty container of Ben & Jerry's and a box of Kleenex. Well, good news, ladies. Thanks to Kristin Cavallari and her public split from Jay Culter, you can say sayonara to your sweatpants and Friday nights of watching Titanic alone. The newly single reality star has recently been seen getting cozy with her Dancing With the Stars partner Mark Ballas and we're beginning to think she knows how to play this love game all too well ...

Audrina Patridge, one of the last of The Hills ladies to be sticking around on reality TV, has declared that her VH1 show, Audrina, won't be back for a second season. Apparently, it's not because her show totally tanked. (I mean, let;'s be real, did anyone really watch it? I never heard any water cooler talk about the show, sorry.) But she's done, because, "We finished in April and I kind of decided I wanted to take some time off from reality. I want to do something more like acting or hosting.”

Ah-ha! Of cooooooourse that's what she wants to do. That's what all the Laguna Beach/Hills alumnas seem to have aspired to do, and none of them to much success. (Heidi Montag to the LEAST success, as we ALL know too well.) But you know, maybe that was, at least in part, no fault of theirs. Maybe it had everything to do with timing! And Audrina's could be perfect.

Eat your heart out, Jay Cutler. His former fiance Kristin Cavallari -- you know, the gorgeous one he DUMPED -- has just gone and done the coolest thing by agreeing to attend a military ball with a U.S. Marine. We don't see anyone tweeting Cutler and inviting HIM to any military balls lately, now do we? And judging from the picture going around, the marine in question is super cute. And I have no doubt that he could kick Jay's pampered pretty boy ass no problem, too. Maybe.

It's great that Cavallari is back in circulation again so soon after her breakup with the Chicago Bears' quarterback. A U.S. Marine named Jonathan Burket extended an invitation to Cavallari on Twitter, and it's got to be the sweetest, most sincere exchange of all the military ball invitiations (and there are a lot) out there.

Here's how the operation went down:

I never thought I'd say this, but I actually feel sorry for Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt. The villains of The Hills turned into fame whores so fast that my head spun. One second Heidi is LC's BFF bouncing around parties in L.A., the next she's married to a puppeteer who encouraged her to have 10 plastic surgeries at the ripe age of 23. They were so unlikeable and, to me, not the least bit sympathetic. Until now.

Speidi sat down with The Daily Beast and talked about their new reality as a couple without the cameras, without the attention, and without the accompanying paycheck. I'm shocked at the remorse and regret they revealed.

I ... I ... I feel bad for them.

Kristin CavallariRemember when Kristin Cavallari was a totally bad-ass, no-nonsense player of young boys' hearts on MTV's Laguna Beach? Damn, she was good -- and frankly, refreshing and inspiring. Well, unfortunately, now that Cavallari has that ring on her finger from fiance and Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler, she's turning into some kind of totally traditional housewife.

How do we know? All we had to do is check out her totally boring wedding registry.

It was a warm day in September 2004 when I first fell in love with a tanned 17-year-old from a little town called Laguna Beach. Her name was Lauren Conrad, LC if you're in her posse, and she had the blond highlights, the hot guy friends, and the richest parents any high school girl could ever ask for. I wasn't the only one that fell under LC's spell -- we all know she got her own show, The Hills, and is now a fashion designer and a best-selling New York Times ... "author." (We'll let the last one slide a bit, I mean, no one really thinks she's writing these books, right?)

Anyway, LC is like a sister to me to whom I've never spoken and will likely never meet, but it still pains me to hear her say things like "I'm not a sexy person" and "I've seen photos of myself and cringed." LC! Knock it off.