Halle Berry is on the warpath against the paparazzi.

This is no "those jerks took pictures of my nip-slip" feud. Nope. The Oscar-winner is pissed about all the photos taken of her 4-year-old Nahla. She recently complained to Access Hollywood:

Nahla was just in a magazine and they said, what does she -- and I think Gwen Stefani’s kid -- have in common? They were both nose pickers, and I thought, "You know we are stooping to a new low when we prop up our children and exploit them like this." And people can’t wait to open up a magazine and see what 4-year-olds are wearing. There is something wrong, fundamentally wrong, with that.

No Halle ... that is fundamentally funny. And, whether you like it or not, it's the kind of stuff your fans want to see.

In extremely disturbing news from the land of reality television, former Top Chef Just Desserts contestant Morgan Wilson has been indicted for possession and intent to distribute child pornography. According to People, last December, undercover investigators found pictures and videos on his computer of young children -- some just toddlers -- engaging in sexual acts.

The thought makes me nauseated and breaks my heart. Wilson was the runner-up on the show's first season, and while I didn't watch that one, he was apparently an angry sort, who lashed out frequently. Sadly, he also was said to have frequently mentioned his small son. The fact that he has a child makes this even worse.

A lot of people are sad that the Oprah Winfrey Show is coming to an end. In fact, I would say most people and definitely every single citizen of Hollywood feel this way, judging by the star-studded turnout for the taping of Oprah's final shows last night that will air on May 23 and 24. Too bad none of us will be able to see them. That's right, because the world is blowing up two days before. Yup, May 21, the End of the World, I guess Oprah forgot to tell her scheduling people about that one.

But here's my own little theory on that: I'm willing to bet that the world as we know it will NOT really end as of May 22, everything will be as normal as ever when we all wake up, and then Oprah will go on the air the next day and take credit for it!

A video currently making the Facebook rounds has many asking one question and one question only:

WTH??!!

It is a video promoting a Norweigian talk show Golden Times, but of course, the talk show is hardly the news. The video features a lineup of the strangest collection of celebrities ever assembled singing...  Wait for it..  Wait for it...  Let It Be.

These quasi celebrities (mostly has beens from 80's shows...  And Tonya Harding) all stand on a beach, presumably in Norway, where they belt out the lyrics to the emotional song. So, yes, let Dolph Lundgren, Steve Guttenberg, Tonya Harding, Malcolm-Jamal Warner, Jason Alexander, Benny from L.A. Law, George Wendt, Kathleen Turner, Kelly McGillis, Tubbs from Miami Vice and many, many other once-were-(kind of)-celebrities tug on your heartstrings and make you cry until you realize you are being manipulated.

Don't believe me? See for yourself:

My friends suck because unlike Derek on The A-List, they never, not once, had an impromptu drag party. And not only does Derek have this impromptu drag party (and yes, I am mildly concerned that I will never be able to stop saying impromptu drag party), he's putting more thought into it than most people put into their wedding.

Derek

We have no idea why Derek of The A-List is still single.

He's gorgeous, funny, and smart.  Well, smart enough to pronounce his friend Gina's name in a way that rhymes with "vagina."

We love Derek.

Look, I'm sorry to ruin this week's The A-List for you if you haven't seen it, but perhaps this will teach you to prioritize and watch it when it airs: Austin is engaged. Yes, to Jake. Who lives in England. And if you're thinking that this is starting to sound a little like "My Girlfriend Who Lives in Canada" a la Avenue Q, rest assured, Jake is real. And a snoozefest.

Other fun tidbits we learned on this week's episode:

So the great thing about watching reality television -- like The A-List -- is those moments when you totally connect with one of the characters. Sure, their lives are more glamorous, or pathetic, as the case may be, but there are those glimmers when you look at them and say, "Yes, I've been where you are. We are one." Or something like that.