On Survivor contestant Alicia Rosa's bio page, she says she dislikes bad manners, and that she's both educated and intelligent. Which is funny, because if you've watched a single episode of the show this season, the special education teacher from Chicago comes across as an exceedingly bad mannered person, and as for her intellect … well, call me crazy, but I'm pretty sure insulting her students on national television was a stupid thing to do. It seems like when people go on reality shows, they get so caught up in the possibility of fame they forget that everything they say is fodder for the cameras. Maybe Alicia didn't mean to offend her special ed students, but the moment was forever captured during last night's Survivor.

In a mostly ho-hum season, this was the first time my jaw legitimately hit the floor. Alicia's comment during the show not only ensures she'll be forever disliked by parents of special ed students, she's likely going to get some serious flak at her job.

Hey, remember Richard Hatch? He says he's sick of being known as "that fat naked guy from Survivor," but let's be honest, most of us will totally always think of him as the fat naked guy from Survivor. It's a little better than "that aggressively douchey reality guy who went to prison for not paying his taxes," right?Hatch was sprung from jail on Monday, where he'd been serving nine months for failing to pay taxes on his Survivor winnings as well as other sources of income. Mind you, this was nine months on top of the three years he already spent behind bars, because apparently he was freed in 2009 but failed to pay those pesky back taxes he'd been ordered to take care of.As if his crime isn't crazy enough on its own (OMG JUST WRITE THE DAMN CHECK), Hatch has some very interesting theories on why he was busted—and an even more interesting idea for an upcoming reality show.

This season of Survivor: South Pacific has felt sort of uninspired to me. I was sick of the whole Redemption Island business, Russell Hantz's nephew Brandon gave me the MAJOR heebs, every time I looked at Ozzy, I was reminded of the fact that he did porn (more heebs), and I generally felt that I'd already seen this exact show many, many times before. Maybe because this is, holy crap, the twenty-third season of Survivor.Then—as if the producers were fully aware of increasing viewer fatigue—everything suddenly got way, WAY more interesting in the last couple weeks. It's like these boring, slightly creepy contestants all woke up and finally decided to get serious about playing the game. 

There are some shows that seem like their seasons are all too short, and then there are shows like Survivor. Much like American Idol, Survivor seems like it's ALWAYS on, no matter what time of year it is or how recently the last season came to its endless, insufferable conclusion. Which is to say, surprise! Survivor: South Pacific starts up again on Wednesday, September 14, and the 16 new castaways have officially been announced.I can't lie, I'm sure we'll be watching, but being as how this is the 23rd Survivor edition, the formula is starting to feel a little—okay, a lot—old.

First things first: we're going to talk finale spoilers here, so if you're waiting on the DVR'd version of last night's show, here's your chance to click elsewhere.However, if you watched any of this season's Survivor, it should be fairly obvious who took home the million dollars. And there lies the trouble with this season—it was never really a good fight. Boston Rob dominated the whole way through, spearheading the cringe-worthy one-by-one elimination of the Zapatera tribe, holding together his alliance until the bitter end, and even winning a final immunity challenge just when he needed it the most.Earlier on in the game, I kept wondering how Rob expected anyone on the jury to vote for him if he made it to the final three. Not because his wife Amber had already won the same prize, but because he'd systematically eliminated all of their sorry asses.As it turned out, his strategy was impeccable: nearly everyone voted for him because who the hell else were you going to vote for?

I'm often on the Internet while I watch my TV shows. I'm checking Facebook, I'm surfing around, I'm tweeting. But CBS just announced news that will take my multitasking to a whole new level! They are kicking off Tweet Week!

From April 3 through April 11, stars from their shows will be tweeting live during the shows. This hops on the trend led by my man Jeff Probst, the host of Survivor. The Probst has been tweeting live on Wednesday nights for the past few weeks.

Of course, it's a great way to get millions of people to follow their stars, ergo their shows, on Twitter. Sure, they use it to get publicity and higher ratings ... but I don't care. I'm all, well, I'm all atwitter!

I said it last week, folks. We need a merge on Survivor: Redemption Island, we need a shake-up, we need The Probst to come out naked for Tribal Council ... maybe not that last one, but we need something as Survivor has been boring with a capital Y-A-W-N. Even Crazypants Phillip is getting stale.

And last night’s episode was going along at the same pace. It was basically just Sarita vs. Dave over at Zapatera, while Jedi Rob vs. Crazypants Phillip was happening at Ometepe. We knew from the get-go that one of those four would be heading to Redemption Island by the end. The rest of the 40someodd minutes was just filler, boring, meh ... 'til the final few fabu moments of the show.

But we’ll get to that soon enough (tee hee!).

In every reality TV show, in every season, there’s a point where you are sitting on the couch thinking, “Can we just fast forward a few episodes? There are too many people. I'm bored.” We’re at this point in Survivor: Redemption Island. There are too many people (I still can’t remember some of their names). We know they will, most likely, not make it to the end -- mainly because they aren't doing diddly-squat to get there right now. But we have to watch.

Sigh. Yawn.

Okay, if we must, let's get to the recap of this boring new episode ...