Silly me, I thought Ke$ha was more into drinking pee and/or Jack Daniels than blood, but her just-leaked track "Vampire (After Dark)" seems to suggest that the pop star does indeed suck ... plasma, that is. Or that she's in love with a vampire, or something. Either way it's probably metaphorical -- or, considering that whole ghost sex thing, probably not -- but Ke$ha's new tune got us thinking about some of our other favorite vampire-themed songs. Which of these melancholy melodies is the most vampire-y of them all? Which ones appeal to Twi-Hards and which are more for Truebies? Give this list a listen and let us know ...

Oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy, do I ever have some good television news for you. Guess who's joining the cast of American Horror Story for the upcoming third season? Go ahead, guess! No, I'm not talking about that douchebag Adam Levine -- sorry to call him a douchebag, I know everyone thinks he's a super megahot tattooed dreamboat, but that's because you're not looking above the abs, okay? From the shoulders up it's all Smug Model-Banging Doucheapalooza -- I'm talking about KATHY BATES.

That's right, Kathy motherscratching Bates will be playing the frenemy of Jessica Lange’s character, and as if that little factoid isn't awesome enough all on its own, show creator Ryan Murphy tells us that Bates' infamous character in Misery has nothing on the deranged evil she'll be bringing to American Horror Story.

Um ... wow. That's QUITE THE CLAIM, Murphy.

Imagine if you're sitting in your local hair salon, chatting about your highlights or layers and whether or not you'll get a blowout, when suddenly the ghostly face of a scarily pale girl appears in the mirror. And then she scurries into the salon on all fours ... backwards! Yeah, you'd lose it just like these women did. The poor dears were all unwitting participants in a practical joke set up to promote the movie Last Exorcism 2. And the creepy-looking girl is just an actress -- and a very flexible one at that. But the women didn't know that. And their reactions are hysterical.

So, remember when we told you all about those vampire/zombie versions of Reborn Dolls? Some people think they're super cute, some people think they're super creepy, some people think they're both. (Which is kind of a unique balance to strike, all things considered.) Anyway, if you're a member of the "baby dolls look better with fangs" camp, you'll most likely love "one of a kind zombie teddy bears" UndeadTeds. Created by artist Phillip Blackman, UndeadTeds "are repurposed soft toys transformed into fluffy, bloody horrors to keep you awake at night." FUN!

Check out this gallery of teddy scares ... if you dare!

Hey, Walking Dead-heads (don't you think that's like, the perfect nickname, by the way? Spread the word! Let's make this happen!): Before we get this going, just wanted to let you know I'm filling in for your regular recapper, the fabulous Linda Sharps, but don't worry, she'll be back next week!  Anyway, on with the show.

So, the big questions going into tonight's episode, "I Ain't a Judas," were as follows: What's Rick going to hallucinate about this week? Will Andrea find some pompous, irritating way to screw over her old friends in favor of her psychopath love interest and all the comforts of Woodbury? (Hot water! Pillows!) If you don't want to find out the answers to these q's and more, stop reading now!

Oh, Andrea! Everybody's got a bad feeling about tonight's episode ofThe Walking Dead  "I Ain't a Judas," and that bad feeling is named Andrea. She's the wild card, what with her conflicting loyalties and emotions and confused, self-righteous annoyingness. How she can possibly find the Governor anything even close to attractive is beyond me -- I mean, I get that it's been awhile and all that, but seriously?? Anyway, tonight she's got a big decision to make. SPOILER ALERTS AHEAD!

When it comes to vampires, separating fact from fiction can be quite a challenge. I mean, it's not like you can go to college and get a degree in Vampire Studies (you can't, right?) or consult a Certified Vampireologist when you want your questions answered. Like, do some vampires really sparkle? Is it true that they can't enter your home unless you invite them? What size shoe does Alexander Skarsgard wear, anyway? (Who said that?!)

For now, the Internet is the only place where inquiring minds can go to find facts on these incredible immortal beings. Good thing we know everything on the web is true!! Here are 6 heart-stopping vampire facts we found online, brought to you by easy-on-the-eyes fangers including Robert Pattinson, Bill Moyer, Ian Somerhalder, Paul Wesley, Kellen Lutz, and of course, Alexander Skarsgard ....

Scoff if you must at the idea of spontaneous human combustion, the evidence in favor of the phenomenon is out there -- just ask 65-year-old Danny Vanzandt of Muldrow of Oklahoma. Oh wait, you can't! Because Danny Muldrow spontaneously combusted, that's why. Seriously, there's no other explanation for his death. According to Sequoyah County Sheriff Ron Lockhart, when officers found Muldrow, "the body was burned and it was incinerated," but strangely, "there was no damage to the furniture or anything around the fire." An autopsy ruled out the possibility of homicide, and while Muldrow was a smoker, Lockhart says there's no way an accidental cigarette burn could incinerate a human body. So what's left? Spontaneous combustion (maybe), says Lockhart:

"I think there's only about 200 cases worldwide [of spontaneous human combustion] and I'm not saying this happened. I'm just saying that we haven't ruled it out."