You know how certain meals pair well with particular adult beverages? Filet mignon with a nice Bordeaux, for example. Chicken tetrazzini with a Chianti, perhaps. Burgers and brew. Whatever you ate out of cans in college and wine coolers. Anyway. Guess what? Certain TV shows pair well with particular adult beverages, too. Obviously. Just ask the folks from the Ommegang Brewery, who just came out with a new beer inspired by Game of Thrones called Iron Throne Blonde Ale. Winter is coming ... gotta stay warm!

So it makes total sense that a brewery finally figured out an old-style, puts hair on your chest ale would appeal to Game of Thrones fans. But we want to know what's taking all the other wineries and distilleries so long? ? Imagine how much fun it would be to get tipsy while you watched the tube if all of your favorite small-screen hits had their own designated drink! Here are a few of our fantasy pairings:

WHOA. Some intense, intense stuff on tonight's Sister Wives, you guys. Yeesh! Death. Failure. Betrayal. It's like they've been saving up the drama all season long! Of course, there were plenty of quieter moments of angst to be found ... the low-level cattiness surrounding home design details ("I've always said I would NOT have a sliding door in my house, Kody!!") and the bittersweet memories of Utah (and the Brown family's eventual speedy exodus from their home state).

But really, all that stuff paled in comparison to, say, the bomb that Christine dropped ...

Okay, okay: Kody Brown isn't so bad ... for a polygamist. That's what we learned on tonight's episode of Sister Wives. The Sister Wives themselves, on the other hand, learned that some polygamists ARE so bad. Soooo bad. Because the Brown teens took it upon themselves to do a little pro-polygamy PR and hang with these other teens who ran away from THEIR polygamist families, and boy, did they ever hear some stories! Horrible stories. Not, however, all that surprising (at least for anyone who's ever seen an episode of Big Love): Controlling, distant, abusive father figures with 27 wives (seriously, no exaggeration); young girls in those creepy puffy-shouldered dresses being married off to still creepier old men. But you know what's weird? The Sister Wives DID seem surprised by the teens' stories. Huh?! How is that even possible?!

You know how TV shows always promote certain episodes as "very special" or "eye-opening" or whatever? Well, tonight's episode of Sister Wives really was very special. Because guess what? Turns out the Browns ain't the only polygamists going public. Nope. Tonight on Sister Wives, the Browns took a joint vacation with another plural family: The Dargers. And it was EYE-OPENING, all right. Polygamist beach party, what could go wrong?!

Well, a lot. Because for all the similarities between the Dargers and the Browns, there are lots of differences, too. Drastic differences. The kinds of differences that can hurt certain wives people's feelings when brought up over dinner, for example. And I'm not even talking about the identical twins thing!

Look out, ladies! If you've been watching Sister Wives this season (okay, if you've ever watched Sister Wives at all), then you know what's coming. It's inevitable, come on! And it's what we've all been waiting for: An all-out, jealousy-fueled smackdown! Every wife for herself!! We've seen glimpses of it here and there, of course. Hurt feelings, tears, jabs. But from what we know about this Sunday's episode -- combined with a few telling quotes from the Browns' appearance on The Steve Harvey Show this week -- that major meltdown can't be far away.

Yet again, I feel emotionally manipulated by ... The Sister Wives. That's right, you heard me! Because at the beginning of tonight's episode, "Kody Begs for an Answer," I found myself all emotionally invested in the well-being of The Brown-y Bunch. Hey, I couldn't help it. Something about watching Kody and Meri and Janelle and Christine and Robyn suffering through the stress and humiliation of parent-teacher conferences ... well, ALL parents, polygamist or not, fear being judged by our kids' teachers when we show up for those dang things. Imagine walking into that empty classroom with your husband ... and your three sister wives? Brutal! And when the Brown kids started talking about their everyday lives and hopes and dreams and struggles -- from skipping school to becoming a famous fashion designer to desperately needing more privacy -- well, that's when I really got hooked. These are universal issues, you know? Sister Wives: They're just like us!

Except ...

So, I know this is kind of confusing, but tonight was the season 3 premiere of Sister Wives. Huh? Didn't we already see season 3 of Sister Wives? Well, sort of -- just not the whole thing. Hence this evening's Sister Wives season 3B premiere. Which, so far, isn't all that different from season 3A: Lots of blonde women and children on a couch (plus one brunette and one blonde guy on a couch), crying and stressing and sobbing and wringing their hands about money and babies and relationships and how in the holy heck Kody is supposed to maintain his surfer dude hair what with all the crying and stressing and babies and blah, blah, blah.

That said, there were a few new (highly dramatic) developments tonight ...

Whew! Last night was some kinda night for Sister Wives fans, right? First we got the hour-long Season Finale, "Leaving the Nest," THEN we got the "Sister Wives Tell-All Special" with Natalie Morales. (I'm starting to feel like I know the Brown family better than I know my own, but whatever.)

So did Kody and the Sister Wives really tell all?! Well, they told some, I guess. But more on that in a minute. First, about the Season Finale. Eldest child Logan is the one "leaving the nest," heading out to college in the fall (and not for nothin'? That kid seems more than ready to go!). Too bad he's apparently going to miss out on living in the biggest Brown "nest" yet ...