When you think tall, dark, dapper, mysterious, and grr sexxxy, you think Don Draper. You think Jon Hamm. He is the personification of sexalicious. No doubt he waltzed into the Mad Men auditions, lit a cigarette, and said, "The part is mine." Well, brace yourselves, because this isn't the way it went down at all!

It took at least six auditions for network execs to be convinced that Hamm was right for the role of Draper. Their main concern? That he wasn't "sexy enough"! Ah, I get it. The execs were blind. Or they were all on some kind of cold medication that made them immune to sexiness.

Welcome to the week leading up to Thanksgiving 1966. But don't expect everyone to feel very festive. This holiday-time seems to be bringing out the ugly, envious, selfish side of everyone's personality ... or, as the episode title puts it, their "Dark Shadows."

Take Betty Francis. It seems that since the last time we saw her, she has joined Weight Watchers -- weighing out her portions and attending weekly meetings -- in order to slim down. She's doing alright, but nothing like emotional stress -- triggered by crazy jealousy -- to throw a wrench into any well-meaning Weight Watcher's plan.

Tonight's Mad Men was titled "Lady Lazarus," after the poem by Sylvia Plath, and there's no question that Megan, Peggy, and Pete all experienced a sort of rebirth, one of the main themes of Plath's poem. At the same time, the episode was peppered with hints at suicide ... another dark element of "Lazarus." Not to mention that everyone seemed to be keeping secrets from one another and telling lies. But what's new? This is Mad Men, after all.

The most obvious example of all of the above themes was Megan's storyline. We all saw it coming. She hasn't been feelin' her career in advertising for quite some time now, and this week, the Heinz hit the fan. After lying to Don about going out for drinks with friends, she confesses that she had actually been to callbacks for an off-Broadway production. Yep, she wants to go back to acting.

Hey Mad Men viewers who have complained that the pilot episode and others so far have played out too slowly, this week's episode was the antidote for you, huh? The ep was so ADD that it was almost impossible for there to really be much emotional development in each storyline. But hey, at least we got a much more diverse glimpse of everyone's issues. And as it turns out, just about everyone this week -- from Peggy to Sally Draper -- shared one emotion in common: Disappointment.

Most intriguing to me was Peggy's disappointment.

Megan watches Don's true colors emerge ...You know those episodes in any TV series that seem to lack huge developments and be filled with pure story arc-building? Tonight's episode of Mad Men felt like that. And yet, that's not to say that it wasn't one of the most enthralling and entertaining episodes of the season so far -- taking us through the course of one day, from Peggy's perspective to Roger's and then Don's, using a POV device my mom noted was probably a nod to The Twilight Zone. Which fits in perfectly with the plot when you think about it ...

Peggy must have felt like she was in The Twilight Zone when she went from having a shouting match with her BF Abe to being treated like a "little woman" by the sexist Heinz corporate guy who never seems to be satisfied with her work to taking off to see a movie and ending up sharing a joint with and giving a handjob to a stranger. Then, it got even weirder.

My best friend and I are usually on the same page about everything. But recently, when she expressed sympathy for Pete Campbell, I couldn't believe it. I know that we all tend to go back and forth with hating Betty. But I can't quite wrap my head around anyone ever liking Pete -- especially after tonight's episode.

Although there were some subplots going on tonight -- Ken Cosgrove gets "found out" as a still occasionally published sci-fi writer with a pseudonym, and Lane feels like he's not quite fitting in at SCDP these days and kisses Joan (!) -- the main focus was on Pete's discontent. Of course moving out to Connecticut and having a baby with Trudy couldn't change his skeezy ways. 'Course not!

Now that we know the presumptive Republican presidential nominee is totally Mitt Romney, Camp Obama is all over it, coming up with snazzy new ways to spin public opinion against the former Massachusetts governor. One of the latest: The Obama campaign is said to be Don "Draper-izing" Mittens in an effort to communicate that his policies and personal beliefs are antiquated and not compatible with our modern day U.S.A. 

Unfortunately, the media has taken some liberties here and misreported the exact narrative. Obama's chief campaign adviser, David Axelrod, who has been the most vocal with this comparison, never said that Mitt Romney is like Don Draper. He's only remarked that his policies and personal beliefs are of Draper's era. And that's not just a matter of semantics; it does make a difference. 

After gunning for more drama, I think it's safe to say we Mad Men fans sure got our fill tonight. Matthew Weiner may have actually veered a bit too dark and twisted ... For starters, the episode occurs in July 1966, soon after the brutal Richard Speck rapes and murders of student nurses in Chicago. And everyone's sick fascination with or fear caused by the story sets the tone for some especially unnerving moments.

But let's start with another guy we knew all along was bad news: Dr. Greg. Joan's husband -- who had been serving in Vietnam through the birth of "his" (not really, since we know it's Roger's) son -- returns home! He holds baby Kevin for all of 0.5 seconds, takes Joanie to bed, then divulges that he's going back to 'nam for not just another 40 days as expected ... but for another YEAR. Surprise, surprise!