I suppose we shouldn't have expected anything else, but Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino is milking his stint in rehab for all it's worth. First the news broke yesterday that he was there for substance abuse, but his rep wouldn't say it was rehab, just that he was somewhere resting. Yeah right.

Mike himself even went so far as to pretty much deny everything by tweeting, "Don't believe everything you read or hear," last night. Only now The Sitch (a dumb nickname for his dumb nickname) comes out and says he does indeed have a substance abuse problem ... but the substances are prescription drugs that have dragged him down. In a statement on his website today he explained: 

Color me disgusted. I thought I lost all respect for Kirk Cameron back when the newly born-again sitcom star had a big moral hissy fit about his co-star Julie McCullough's past as a Playboy centerfold and got her fired from Growing Pains. But after the incredibly offensive, self-righteous comments Cameron made to Piers Morgan last night, I somehow lost even more respect for him. His respect account is overdrawn, let's put it that way.

Look, it's not like I was surprised to hear the former Mike Seaver say he doesn't support gay marriage. Not after the whole Playboy thing. But what he said about homosexuality in general was shockingly intolerant, even for him. Cameron told Morgan:

"I think that it's ... unnatural. I think that it's detrimental, and ultimately destructive to so many of the foundations of civilization."

Yeah. He really said that. Out loud and everything.

The premiere of The Hunger Games is just around the corner, but for fans of the futuristic thriller, even a month feels like a long time to wait. So, thank goodness for actress Elizabeth Banks, who plays Effie Trinket! She spoke with MTV recently about some of the scenes she herself can't wait to see play out on the big screen. And she also spilled details about what it was like to film said scenes!

In other words, we've got some actual, legit, straight-from-the-source scoop now on what we can expect come March 23 ...

Are you ready to see the cutest thing on the entire Internet? Because I'm pretty sure the video I'm about to share is, in fact, the cutest thing on the entire Internet, at least for today and possibly for the whole month of January. It involves the unlikely combination of actress Kristen Bell, sloths, and Ellen DeGeneres, and whatever you could possibly think it might be, it's even cuter than that.

First, some backstory: you should know that Kristen Bell is 1) a very emotional person, and 2) really, really into sloths. (Yes: sloths.) What happens when you combine these two intriguing elements of her personality?

Well, as you're about to see, the results can only be described as INCREDIBLY AWESOME.

It was yet another bad PR move by Lindsay Lohan to blow off her Ellen appearance this week, but good news for the rest of us who weren't that interested in hearing about Lohan's "tasteful" Marilyn-inspired hooter shots anyway: Ellen replaced LiLo with Paris Jackson. As in the sleek-haired, gorgeous-eyed, surprisingly well-adjusted daughter of Michael Jackson.

Paris is just 13 years old, but she appears mature and poised in the promos for the show, which airs Thursday. Poor Lindsay, when you compare her coked-out, aged-before-her-time appearance to fresh-faced Paris's, it's almost like the two of them represent opposite endpoints on the young celebrity continuum. Paris: head on her shoulders, world as her oyster—Lindsay: feebly hawking over-Photoshopped nudie pics to pay her legal fees.

You'll never guess what A-list actress Angelina Jolie has in common with reality star Phaedra Parks of Real Housewives of Atlanta. I'll give you a hint: It's NOT about housewifery, and it IS all about DEATH. I know, you're shocked, right? Angelina Jolie has morbid tendencies? Of course, dahhhling, this is the woman who used to wear a vial of her lover's blood around her neck! But what about the Atlanta Housewife? Well, turns out, both ladies are harboring a creepy desire to become morticians.

Yes, in the current season of Real Housewives of Atlanta, successful lawyer and new mom Phaedra Parks investigates a new family business as a funeral director. Then, on this week's 60 Minutes, Angelina Jolie revealed that if she hadn't become an actress, she was going to become a funeral director, too.

Say it ain't so, Biebs, say it ain't so! On Monday, a California woman named Mariah Yeater filed a paternity lawsuit against Justin Bieber, saying that he's the father of her 3-month-old son Trystan. That news alone was beyond frightening. However, today, Star magazine has an exclusive interview with Yeater and photos of Justin's alleged son. The 20-year-old woman claims she and the Biebs hooked up at a concert in October 2010, and now she's looking for child support.

Yeater's account of that night is very detailed and potentially life-altering for both Justin and his fans. The Biebs we all know is a nice guy. He's the gushy hopeless romantic we gawked over in his new "Mistletoe" video and the guy we welcomed into our homes last Christmas! He's NOT someone who would have unprotected sex in a dirty bathroom with a girl he just met! At least, I surely hope not.

Read on to see the actual photo of baby Trystan and hear what the baby's mother has to say about their rumored encounter:

There's nothing I love more than waking up with a cup of coffee and the Today show. Well, except waking up with the Today show when Justin Timberlake is a special guest. As much as I love me some Matt Lauer, JT is by far my absolute fave man in Hollywood. Yesterday Mr. *N'SYNC himself sat down with the anchor of the Today show to talk about his new flick, In Time. I was a giddy little school girl. 

And so, apparently, was Matt Lauer.