POSTS WITH TAG: holiday

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    My husband was offended by last week's column on what those candy sweethearts should REALLY say. Well, maybe not so much "offended" as defeated.

    Since I was suggesting we replace "BE MINE?" with "R THOSE UR TOENAILS?" he assumed I wasn't that into it, and suggested we just skip the whole thing.

    There is only one reply to this: No FREAKIN' WAY!

    So maybe our pillow talk isn't what it used to be and I totally get that V-day is a Hallmark holiday. But even a cliche, revenue-driven holiday is a great excuse to enjoy a meal that doesn't involve a kiddie menu or cutting someone else's meat or having to ask "Who keeps kicking me?" 50 times. I wish Hallmark would make up more occasions to celebrate with a card and a romantic dinner, like:

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    If you happened to be watching CNN's New Year's Eve special with hosts Kathy Griffin and Anderson Cooper, you probably have an image seared in your mind that you prefer had never, ever made it there in the first place: Kathy simulating oral sex on Anderson. Not just once, not twice, but at least half a dozen times. Whyyyyyyy? you ask. Ohhh, I don't know. This is Kathy Griffin. She makes a living from being vulgar. Maybe she hit the bubbly a bit too hard?

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    In the past 30 years, many accepted practices have changed. What people considered normal and safe back then -- transporting your newborn in the front-seat, having a latchkey kid at age 6, and letting them explore the woods with no parental guidance -- is pretty much grounds for arrest these days. But, in that simpler time they call the '80s, there were some great ideas that I'm thinkin' we should totally revive -- the way Disney Channel stars have brought back overly-sequined attire, off-the-shoulder shirts, and leopard print day-glow leggings!

    Thanks, Shake It Up, I can barely look at my daughter without retinal strain!

    Let's be clear: some of these suggestions could possibly get you arrested (by Joan Rivers and the fashion police), but I think they're worth bringing back, or are they? You decide ...

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    If Katy Perry and John Mayer's taste in sweaters is any indication, these two might be made for each other! Both have stepped out in that fine holiday tradition of the ugly ass Christmas sweater. You know the ones I'm talking about -- those "festive" (i.e. far too embarrassing to leave the house in) sweaters. Sometimes they're festooned with reindeers, sometimes Christmas ornaments, sometimes snowmen. But always, always, with bad taste.

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    It's not just the season of peace, love, and joy. It's also a great time for a few good laughs. So in between the shopping, wrapping, baking, and endless stream of TV specials, get in a few giggles with these seven awesome holidays pranks (and maybe get inspired to concoct your own!).

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    Yesterday we enjoyed one of our great family holiday traditions: We picked out our Christmas tree and put out the Christmas decorations. I love that activity! Nothing gets me into the spirit like pulling out our glitter stars and smelling that heavenly balsam fir in our very own home. It's a tradition my son loves, too, especially since I let him have a lot of say in how we decorate. That's why some of his smallest stuffed animals are nestled in our Christmas tree boughs -- because why not?

    Anyway, many of our ornaments are crafts from our respective childhoods, and we love all the memories they bring. So if your child is old enough and loves crafts, making ornaments is a fabulous way to create new memories. To help get your kids in the spirit, we've found 10 simple, easy ornament crafts you could make together.

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    Well, here's something you probably never expected to see in your short little lifetime. It's amazing, and it involves rapper DMX! Remember him?? Wayyyy back in the day, my brother and I would blast "One More Road to Cross" on our way to school, pretending we could relate to the song despite the fact we were driving in his brand-new Honda through our tiny suburb on our way to our college-preparatory private school dressed in khakis with lunches packed by our mom. So color me surprised (and nostalgic) when the rapper made yet another hit recently ... in the form of him "singing", sort of, "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer."

    It really is as bizarre as it sounds, but strangely enough, it's kind of a fantastic version of the classic Christmas carol. He's got charisma, he's got charm, he's ... err, delightful and cute. He even accompanies himself with a helpful nearby tabletop.

    Yeah, it's that insane, but it's only a minute out of your life, and you're actually going to really enjoy it.

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    Did you see Trace Adkins at the Rockefeller Tree Lighting special? He wore a Confederate flag earpiece, y'all. Don we now our provocative apparel! Seriously, Trace? You had to go and make a statement at a Christmas celebration? Really?

    How disrespectful. Here everyone is, welcoming in the holidays. The whole point is to usher in all those warm, cozy Christmas spirits and what does he do? He wears an accessory that says, "Imma let you finish, Christmas Tree, but the War of Northern Aggression was a travesty!" You really have to go out of your way to pick one of those instead of just a regular, non-upstagy earpiece. And yes, I do think he was trying to be provocative.

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    Thinking of hitting the stores on Black Friday for some of the hottest holiday shopping deals? You may want to think again.

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    So, hey guys, gather 'round the campfire, have you heard of this magician named Rich Ferguson? Because he's a badass. And he loves going around pranking people in honor of Halloween. 'Tis the season, right?

    His latest stunt is simply awesome -- and I have no idea how he does it. Is there some mechanism involved? Dude is somehow super flexible? He was born with no spine? I also love how he waddles toward these unsuspecting folks while holding his head too. If I saw him and had no idea what was coming, I'd freak the hell out too!

    Somehow Rich is able to literally remove his "head" from his "body," as it falls off when he sneezes. And in a chorus of "Oh my God!"s and "Holy sh*t!"s follows every time he pulls it off. Like probably many of you, I know nothing about these so called "head drop tricks" ... so if you have any idea how it's done, inquiring minds really want to know!

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