When you think of Christmas, what comes to mind? Slot machines? Laser lights? Kim Kardashian's boobs? If you answered "yes" to any of the above questions, you may want to check your birth certificate to make absolutely certain you weren't born into the Kardashian-Jenner clan. If their outrageous 2013 Christmas card is to be believed -- 'tis the season to head to Vegas, drape your body in Cleopatra garb, bare your legs, and pose with your stiletto heel digging fiercely into the many gossip mags spread across the glittery floor.
And if you're having marital troubles (cough, cough, Kris), there's a solution for that: stick your husband in a glass-enclosed vessel and voila -- problem solved. Seriously, you have to see the photos to believe it, but this is the most bombastic Kardashian Christmas card yet.