So picture this. Your kid reaches that magical age when you decide they're ready for a cellphone (I'm not going to put a number on it -- you know your kid better than I do). For giggles, you throw a texting plan on there. And now you want to know: what the heck are they saying to their friends?

Do you: A) ask your state to pass a law that would require the cellphone company to give you access to your kid's texts, or b) talk to your kid about responsible texting. If you chose A, quick, get on a plane to Arizona! The Grand Canyon State could soon become the first in the nation to humor parents who would prefer the state take over the job of being a parent.

Here's the thing: If you're a super-talented celeb up for a prestigious honor like, say, the 2012 SAG Award for Best Actress in a TV Series -- Comedy and you lose out to another nominee, you're allowed to be kind of miffed. Especially if you're as awesome as, say, Tina Fey in 30 Rock or Sofia Vergara in Modern Family.

There is, however, an exception to that rule. Even if you are Tina Fey.

You are NOT allowed to be anything but graciously, glowingly happy for the actress who steals your rightful place as winner if that actress is 90 YEARS OLD.

Like, say, Betty White.

Look, it's not like Betty White didn't deserve to win Best Actress in a TV Series -- Comedy for Hot in Cleveland. I mean, she's spent her entire life being Betty White. It's all pretty much gravy at this point.

But I do think White's win proves a widely accepted but generally unspoken truth about award shows ...

Okay, I'll admit the reports of Tracy Morgan collapsing at the Sundance Film Festival sound a bit fishy, but I think the 30 Rock star deserves to be given the benefit of the doubt. Because while Morgan is known for being something of a loose cannon -- drunk driving arrests, that infamously offensive rant during his stand-up act in Nashville -- he's also known for being a diabetic. For surviving a kidney transplant in 2010 that could have killed him.

So why is it so difficult for people to believe the guy is legitimately sick? Even after the Utah hospital where Morgan is being treated released a statement denying that any drugs or alcohol were found in his system?

The first episode of the LAST season of 30 Rock is finally here -- so why do I feel like the world is coming to an end? I can't imagine life without Liz Lemon and her cynical, power-hungry (yet closet-ly compassionate) boss Jack Donaghy. But it's not just me who's feeling like the apocalypse is here -- the whole episode was about the end of the world.

Kenneth thinks we're less than 24 hours away from The Rapture, Liz Lemon is in a FABULOUS mood (and not just because she's not weighed down with "all that redundant torso fabric" by wearing a dickie), Jenna is acting NICE (well, for about 5 seconds, anyway), and Jack has a bizarre moment of baby-induced conscience. What's going on here?!?

I'm starting to understand why Alec Baldwin had such a hard time shutting down Words With Friends on an American Airlines flight this past week. The 30 Rock actor is one wordy dude. Nearly a week has passed, and Baldwin showed up on Saturday Night Live last night to poke fun at the whole shenanigans. He's still talking about it! And we really wish he would just sit down and shut up.

30 Rock has earned several major awards (including being nominated for an unprecedented 22 Emmys in 2009) and, despite recent falling ratings, has pulled in over 5 million viewers for each season. It is, in my opinion, consistently one of the funniest shows on TV—thanks to star, producer, and head writer Tina Fey. When I think of Tina Fey, I think of her incomparable comedic talent, the insane amount of work she must do, and the fact that she's primarily responsible for building up the devoted 30 Rock fan base who tunes in every week when it's being broadcast.

In comparison, Angelina Jolie mostly just runs around looking hot in her movies. And yet she made over twice as much as Tina Fey last year.

I wish this whole Tracy Morgan scandal would just go away. He made some really distasteful comments about homosexuals, and apparently totally went off on women too (though no one seems to care so much about that). None of it was funny; he's a jerk, and that should be the end of the story with fans rolling their eyes, and never going to see him again. Instead it's turned into one big public relations bonanza for the guy with other comedians now coming out to defend him.

First up is Chris Rock who offered a predictable reaction via Twitter, "“I dont know about you, but I dont want to live in world where Tracy Morgan cant say foul inappropriate s—”

Tina Fey was more thoughtful in her comments, but in the end, concluded "he's not a hateful man."

I know a lot of people are going to hate me for saying this, but would everybody please relax about Tracy Morgan's homophobic onstage rant? Yes, I realize the man said during his stand-up routine that he would stab his son to death if he came home and said he was gay, and yes, that's an outrageous thing to say. But, hello, everything that comes out of the mouth of Tracy Morgan is outrageous! Morgan's entire approach to comedy is based on the concept that nothing is sacred.

Anybody claiming to be a fan of Morgan's knows this to be true. So why have people suddenly decided that this time he's crossed the line? What line? If there was a line, he crossed it years ago.