Jennifer Lopez seems to be having some serious mid-life blues over her love life. The 45-year-old looks as good as ever, but there's no doubt that she hasn't exactly been considered lucky in the romantic department. That is, unless you think anyone who once got to regularly sleep with Ben Affleck has had enough luck for five lifetimes. (Hand raise!) But apparently that isn't enough for JLo, who lamented to Elle UK that she will eventually "get it right." But if you listen to her rather juvenile thoughts on love, you get an idea why things haven't quite worked out for her.
Jenny from the block told the mag:
I still believe in love. The nirvana man, he’s out there somewhere. But you just have to work at it. You have to work at everything.
The nirvana man?! Assuming she's not talking about Kurt Cobain or Krist Novoselic, this sounds like JLo expects some kind of white knight in shining armor to come galloping out of the mists, sweep her and her booty up on his stallion, and ride her off to the MTV Music Awards ... cue happily ever after.
She continued in this vein by saying:
Each time it goes wrong, it's hard. I get really hurt but I have to let myself go: 'What did I do? What can I learn?' And as hard and as hurtful as things get, I want to believe I will be able to go one step higher. I’ve got to hope that if I keep going I will eventually get it right.
There is no doubt that any relationship ending is hard, but JLo seems to be implying that she is a total failure because her relationships didn't last a lifetime. So what? Plenty of people spend their whole lives married -- and miserable. Jennifer doesn't seem to be considering the idea that because she ended bad relationships that weren't working that she has already got it right.
We have to get rid of this fallacy that any relationship that doesn't end only when one person -- or preferably both people simultaneously! -- dies is a complete and utter waste of time. What if you created children together? What if you had a beautiful time together? What if you started a homeless shelter together? Is everything really a failure just because it doesn't last forever, and every crappy thing that does last "forever" is considered a success? That's absurd!
It sounds like JLo needs to worry less about "nirvana man," more about herself, and less about whether or not a relationship lasts for 40 or 50 years. Quality, not quantity.
Anyway, there is one way to guarantee relationship success as defined by society: Get married on your death bed.
Do you have any relationship advice for JLo?
Image via ELLE