Britney Spears is still smarting from her breakup with boyfriend David Lucado, aka The Dumbest Man in the World. David was not even fit to be the guy who fetches Brit water during concert breaks, but he somehow ended up sharing her company, bed, money, and life, and blew it all so he could make out with some other girl.
David needs to donate his brain to science so we can all study it and figure out how so much stupidity got packed into one head. Anyway, Brit, in a refreshing change from a lot of these female celebs, who just seem to take whatever their men dish out (lookin' at you, Selena, Tori, and Karrueche Tran), immediately kicked David back to whatever dull curb he came from. Go, Brit!
However, Britney was all out there with her relationship drama at her Vegas show. She announced: "Well, by now everyone knows my boyfriend cheated on me. But the best part of breaking up is going on first dates."
Okay, seriously, Brit, you just dumped this guy, like, an hour ago. How many first dates could you have gone on? She declared:
Oh my god, oh my god, I need a hot guy. Where are the hot guys here tonight?
She then pulled celeb blogger Perez Hilton up on stage and gyrated with him, but since Perez is gay, I don't think that's going anywhere. Though if anyone can turn a gay man straight, it's probably Britney!
My point being Brit sounds a bit desperate. She sounds hurt. She sounds like she's trying to get over David licketysplitlikethat. It doesn't work that way. Believe me, I know.
Another boyfriend so soon would just be a Band-Aid. I'm glad Britney cut David off completely (or her father did -- apparently Daddy is making sure David has absolutely no access to his daughter anymore and has even paid to keep the video of him macking with another girl out of circulation), but now she should take some time to mourn.
It's okay to be alone for awhile, Britney. Love your children. Improve your career. Take some typing classes. Whatever.
Learn about yourself so you can make better choices. (Not that you chose a cheater -- but perhaps there was some shady stuff about David you weren't acknowledging.)
And, Brit, call me if you need to. Just not too late, 'cause I need my beauty rest.
Do you think Britney should start dating so soon?
Image via Britney Spears/Instagram