Orange Is the New Black's Uzo Aduba just took home the Creative Arts Emmy for guest actress in a comedy last night for playing the show's most lovable romantic, Suzanne "Crazy Eyes" Warren. When E! caught up with the actress (who was promoted to series regular for season 2), she said the other show she'd love to guest-star on is Scandal. "I just want to hear Olivia Pope tell me 'it's handled' once," she said.
While we wouldn't want to take away from Aduba's considerable acting talent and suggest she couldn't play a character very different from Crazy Eyes, we also couldn't help but imagine all the scenarios in which the slightly unbalanced Litchfield resident could get entangled with Olivia Pope and Associates.
Some scenarios to consider:
1. Suzanne, who OITNB fans will remember was adopted by a white family, is actually Maya Pope's first child. This revelation, and the need to free her long-lost sis from prison, is what brings Olivia back to D.C., despite her desire to start a new life.
2. Former Vice President Sally Langston finally confesses to the murder of her husband and gets sentenced to Litchfield, where Crazy Eyes decides she should be her new prison mommy.
3. Crazy Eyes is released and is placed in a work program near the OPA offices, where she meets and falls in love with Quinn, who tolerates her advances because, really, her love life wasn't insane enough already.
4. The entire Litchfield Gang goes on vacation in Hawaii, where they run into Olivia and Jake at a swanky hotel and discover their luggage has all been switched. Wacky antics ensue, but Olivia handles it all.
5. Suzanne and Huck compete in the national Crazy Eyes Invitational, hosted by reigning champion Cyrus.
Or, you know, Aduba could be a real person with real ripped-from-the-headlines problems for the handlers to handle. We trust you, Shonda Rhimes, to come up with just the right balance of crazy and totally relatable for her.
What other TV characters would you love to see on Scandal?
Written for The Stir by Sabrina Rojas Weiss
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