If you're of a certain age (coughs, shoves driver's license out of view), you probably remember Saved by the Bell. You know, the sitcom that aired during the early '90s that starred Mark-Paul Gosselaar, Dustin Diamond, Lark Voorhies, Dennis Haskins, Tiffani-Amber Thiessen, Elizabeth Berkley, and Mario Lopez? Well, according to an explosive new biopic from Lifetime, the mostly tame antics we saw onscreen of high school friends tackling various PG-themed issues was just a front for the unbelievably scandalous action happening between the actors. Drugs! Sex! Fighting! Like, OMG!
At least, that's what Lifetime wants us to believe with The Unauthorized Saved by the Bell Story. In terms of powerful recreations of real-life events, I'm guessing this thing will fall somewhere in between Lindsay Lohan as Liz Taylor and a bunch of CGI in Sharknado. But who cares about quality? What you want to see is the trailer, because HAAAAAAA.
Here's the trailer -- and keep in mind the hilarious fact that they're actually promoting the fact that The Unauthorized Saved by the Bell Story was cast by the original TV show's casting director:
Okay, so 1) that was a LOT of Bell Biv Devoe's "Poison." Like, the whole frickin' song. And 2) wow, the resemblance is truly ... uh. Yeah. I think "Zack" might be my favorite:
Anyway, I guess someone got the idea for this trainwreck after Dustin Diamond, who played Screech, wrote Behind the Bell, a juicy tell-all that revealed what life was reportedly like on the set of the show. He basically said everyone but him was sleeping together and getting high, and Lifetime thusly conducted "hours of brand-new interviews" to bring to life the REAL STORY.
Except Diamond himself has completely backtracked on that book, saying a ghostwriter wrote the entire thing and subsequently made up the more outrageous material in it. He never proofread it, it included words and phrases Diamond said he's “never used in my life,” and overall, he now calls it "twisted" and "inaccurate."
As for the rest of the former Saved by the Bell cast, no one is involved in the Lifetime movie in any way. Mark-Paul Gosselaar, who played Zack Morris, says this of Diamond's book: "I don't remember those things. My experience on the show was very positive." When the Lifetime project was announced in June, Mario Lopez tweeted, "Really???" Elizabeth Berkley told Us Weekly, "I am not really curious about it to tell you the truth. We know the lives we lead and it was so innocent. Our parents were on set with us every day and it was so innocent. It was such a different time so I have no idea... it's not our real journey on that show together."
I'm not sure if Lifetime is scraping the very bottom of the barrel here, because I suppose there's always the possibility of The Cosby Show: Where They Were REALLY Putting Those Pudding Pops, but I'm going to go out on a limb and say The Unauthorized Saved by the Bell Story represents a real low point for the network, which is saying something considering they're also producing Grumpy Cat's Worst Christmas Ever.
Well, what do you think? Will you watch this just for the camp factor?
Image via Lifetime