It took me a while to discover the nearly inhuman awesomeness that is Chris Pratt. At one point, all I really knew about him is that he did the voice of Emmet in The LEGO Movie, and then I started hearing more about him as marketing ramped up for Guardians of the Galaxy, and then I saw a video of him French braiding an intern's hair, and I kind of fell in love. But even the deeply compelling visual of him running his fingers through a stranger's hair in order to masterfully divide it into three sections and gradually weave in more strands to create a smoothly braided pattern from crown to nape can't compare with his impromptu freestyle performance of "Forgot About Dre."
Whatever you had planned for today, clear your calendars and put Chris Pratt's jaw-droppingly perfect Eminem cover on repeat. If for some reason this guy doesn't make it as a movie star, he's definitely got rapping hairstylist as a backup career option.
Pratt recently appeared on a radio show called The Whoolywood Shuffle, and in the course of conversation, Pratt revealed that back in 2001 he was living in a van in Maui, smoking lots of weed, and listening to Dr. Dre's The Chronic 2001. Pratt said he could recite any line and, as proof, launched into the Slim Shady part from "Forgot About Dre."
The magic starts at 0:43, and be warned there is potty language, this being Eminem and all:
I realize the following image isn't entirely appropriate, but it's all that comes to mind when I try and express my reaction to that video:
My favorite part is how he just keeps going. Chris Pratt reminds me of when I was in eighth grade and rewound the Beastie Boys' "Paul Revere" over and over so I could memorize all the lyrics.
While the breakout rap performance is clearly the highlight of that interview, Pratt also offered a fantastic take on the Orlando Bloom/Justin Bieber ridiculousness:
How embarrassing is it to get punched by Orlando Bloom! Like, of all the people you get punched by, it's Orlando Bloom? Oh, no.
Haaaaaa, oh god this guy is the best. Chris Pratt for president! He will be required to serve shirtless:
Are you a Chris Pratt fan?
Image via prattprattpratt/Twitter
I create a special savings account
I put a little away at a time
I cut corners until I can afford it
Save? Who has money to save?
I plan to put it on my credit card and love the benefits of the reward program