Jamie Dornan's '50 Shades of Grey' Debut Is Disappointing at Best

Jamie Dornan

Sigh. After months of crazy anticipation, we finally got to see the Fifty Shades of Grey movie trailer yesterday. But then we all kind of scratched our heads and said, "Huh?" after watching it.

Ok, so the scene where Christian Grey throws Anastasia Steele up against the wall in the elevator got our pulses racing a little (um, what woman wouldn't want a dude to kiss her like that?). Other than that? The general consensus seems to be along the lines of ... "meh."

Oh, and exactly no one I've talked to thinks that Jamie Dornan is the right fit for Christian. Like not even close.

And I know plenty of people were disappointed when he was cast in the role in the first place. Honestly -- this trailer pretty much reaffirms exactly why he was no one's first choice to take on the task of bringing Christian Grey to life.

For starters, he's just so ... baby-faced. Be honest, when you look at him, is the first thought that goes through your mind anywhere close to, "Damn. That dude can tie me up any time he wants to ..."?

Nope. It's more like, "Aww. He looks like he'd be such a nice boy to bring home to mom."

And then there's the whole bit about him being ... small. For whatever reason, I always pictured Christian as this big, strapping, commanding dude -- but Jamie is really slender and kind of delicate looking. (I could take him out in a heartbeat is all I'm saying. Boom.)

He also looks like he's about 23 years old, which definitely doesn't help matters in the "I'm SO gonna dominate you" department. Isn't Christian supposed to have a little more life experience, or at least a few more notches on his belt than what a typical young dude would have?

On that note, if I had to pick one guy who would not only be 100 percent believable as Christian but would also make me so hot and bothered I'd have to leave the movie theater early -- it would be Ian Somerhalder, hands down.

Refresh my memory ... why in the hell wasn't he cast in this role again? It's like producers passed up the perfect opportunity to nail Fifty Shades' leading man -- and instead went in a direction that might not pan out to be a safe bet at all.

Oh, and don't even get me started on Dakota Johnson as Ana. (That could be a whole other post in itself.) She's WRONG. All wrong. The end.

Of course, my dissatisfaction with the cast doesn't mean I won't go see the flick when it comes out on Valentine's Day, 2015. Surely there have to be a few parts that are more than worth sitting in a crowded theater full of people squirming in their seats for a couple hours or so.

Do you think Jamie Dornan is right for the role?

 

Image via Evan Agostini/Columbia Pictures Presents Marie Antoinette At The New York Film/Getty Images

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