This week on The Ladies of London, basically every American (minus Noelle Reno, who is, I suspect, a cyborg and thus free of any nationality) lady sobbed. In addition to this torrent of tears, Annabelle Neilson, known to you and me as the coolest person possibly ever born (sorry Elvis and also my mom), got her wah-wah on as well. The difference? Annabelle was the only one with any reason for wailing and gnashing of teeth. She shattered her pelvis training for a horse race.
Invalid reason for crying: A friend says something passive aggressive to you while you sip champagne at brunch. Valid reason for crying: YOU ARE FLUNG FROM A HORSE GOING 45 MILES AN HOUR AND BREAK YOUR PELVIS. Other valid reasons for crying include facing down the dark void of the unknown and losing your debit card.
Seriously though. Annabelle's trials and tribulations this week made the other petty squabbles look like, you know, petty squabbles.* Was Juliet Angus rude? Yes. Did Caprice Bourret and Caroline Stanbury continue their icy battle for supremacy? Very much so. But all of it paled to the panic that gripped my soul when we were whisked away to a tiny cottage in Dorset.
The camera slowly panning up Annabelle's ridiculously long hospital gown was like something out of Psycho. She was in so much pain! There is so little meat on her as it is -- what will the little injured duck do for padding now? I kept hurling pillows at my T.V. screen, but that was ineffectual, and then I had to stand up and put the pillows back on the couch before the dog took ownership of them. Which I resented. Because I am lazy.
It's a pity Annabelle won't get to ride in her big charity race. The only solace I take out of any of this is that tonight I realized that she reminds me of Emily Mortimer's character on 30 Rock. You know, the one who was always going "careful, my bones" whenever Alec Baldwin tried to make out with her.
Do you think this means we've seen the last of Annabelle on the show?! I hope not.
Image via Bravo
*That phrase always makes me think of well-dressed pigeons. I stand by it.