Get ready to have your childhood hopes and dreams squashed, you guys. We've recently learned that the "Human Ken Doll," a.k.a. Justin Jedlica, will not only never, ever date the "Human Barbie" or agree to shack up in sin with her in the Barbie Dreamhouse, but he can't even stand to be in the same room with her!
How can this be?! Surely, Justin and Valeria Lukyanova should have hit it off. After all, you'd assume Valeria, a 28-year-old model who has had an obscene number of surgical procedures in order to look like a real-life doll, has more in common with the super surgically-enhanced Ken Doll than most mere mortals.
But you know what happens when you "ass-u-me," right? Turns out Justin is NOT a fan of the Human Barbie.
Justin, who is 32, lives in New York, and has shelled out $100,000 to look like Ken, recently confessed that he spent some quality time with Valeria and he was not impressed. He says she was "cute" and "sweet," but that she was like a "dead mannequin," even when the cameras were off, and that she has "no personality."
Honestly, it's difficult to be shocked by his evaluation of her. How could a person who spends so much time focused on her looks also have time to develop actual interests and hobbies that she can share with others? You can't help feeling sad for Valeria. If Justin's description of her is true, this poor woman is probably not very comfortable in her own skin -- even though she paid a whole lot of money to have the perfect skin (and boobs and legs and everything else).
Justin also said he tried to connect with Valeria by giving her a hug and making her laugh, but that she was closed off to contact and, by the sound of it, not in on the joke of her celebrity, the way Justin claims to be. For Valeria, this is real life. It would almost be awesome (well, not really -- it would still be spooky and sad) if the model didn't take herself so seriously. But the fact that she does makes this even more tragic.
As for Justin -- he's a gay man who is married to his partner and has two stepchildren. So, you know, a love connection was never going to happen. But for those of us who thought Human Ken and Human Barbie could at least be BFF's and hook up to find the Human Skipper Doll -- because you just know that's coming next -- it's never, ever going to happen.
What do you think about how the Human Ken Doll slammed the Human Barbie?