'True Tori' Recap: Tori & Dean's Marriage Troubles Turn Explosive

Tori Spelling

There's been a lot of speculation that Tori Spelling's new reality show, True Tori, is fake. If it is, then give Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott and the writers of the show Emmys. All of 'em. Give them two each. Throw in one for Liam. Because I can't think of too many shows that have delved this deep into the aches, pains, hurts, betrayals, and disappointments of love. And if it IS fake, I will be in therapy to get over it! That said, the show opens with Tori and Dean in an explosive therapy session.

Tori, who has difficulty expressing her feelings -- primarily because Dean becomes suicidal whenever she confronts him -- wants to get to the bottom of why Dean cheated. He falls back on blaming Tori, basically saying they weren't having enough sex. Tori counters that they'd had sex the whole weekend before he left for Toronto, where the encounter occurred.

"Sex was an escape, just like drugs and alcohol," Dean finally admits. "It's my worst nightmare come true, something so public and it's come out and I can't get out of it, it's so public, there's no way."

Tori rightly questions whether he means it's his worst nightmare that he cheated or that he got caught. Dean backtracks, but it's obvious he's just been busted in his own twisted thinking. (He also later tells a friend that the reason he cheated is that he thought he wouldn't get caught ... so I think we're now clear on his "motive.")

The pair then get to the crux of much of their marital breakdown -- Dean expected that sex would continue like it was during their honeymoon phase. Tori more realistically expected their sex life to evolve (i.e., slow down) given the fact that they have four children.

"I could have predicted this would happen," Tori cries. "It was never enough for you ... he's going to cheat on me ... he's never going to be happy with just me."

"Come on, we pushed it to a month once," Dean counters. Hmmm. Wrong answer, Dean!

"Dean, your expectations of what a marriage is supposed to be like sexually are like a fairy tale," the therapist, Dr. Wexler, has to point out. Does Dean get that? Doesn't really seem like it.

Tori breaks down and confesses that she still feels that he cheated because she's not good enough. "I was old; I wasn't pretty enough," she says, admitting that it took her years to finally feel good about herself, given a childhood that was filled with criticism about her looks. (Tori's line about feeling old and ugly really pushes my doubts about the show's reality to the side. What actress would willingly admit this?!)

Dean, on the other hand, is equally crippled by doubts, feeling that he only has a career because of Tori.

"You both are really insecure," the doctor points out. "You both feel you don't deserve each other." (Irony alert: They do!)

Dr. Wexler then gives them an assignment: Dean has to write an apology letter and Tori has to write a letter telling Dean how angry she is.

Later, Dean is writing his letter when his young son, Liam, begins questioning him about it. "Please tell me what it is," he begs. "Pleeease."

Dean finally explains that he did something "unforgivable" to Mommy but the letter is to ask for some degree of forgiveness.

"How do you tell your 7-year-old son Daddy is a douchebag?" Dean asks the camera.

Well, I guess you just show Liam a recording of this show in a few years. Will he want to know? How much do any of us want to know about our parents' marriage?

But would we all be a bit better off if marriage wasn't such a mysterious thing? What if our parents' tense silences and clipped exchanges and slammed doors and then maybe a sudden divorce -- all of that strange, painful mystery -- were actually explained with an excruciatingly detailed torrent of words and video? Would it be better in some way to know it all?

I don't know the answer to that. Tori and Dean's kids will someday.

Do you think that the kids should be exposed to this?

 

Image via Lifetime

celeb moms, television

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Louise Cardillo

I often avoid reality TV but felt something very visceral in seeing Tori so broken. I have always said, "if he'll do it for you, he'll do it to you" oh I wish it was not true. If they could rewind I think Tori has been the responsible one. Trying to make a living for them, when it should be mutual. I see four very little children clinging to their mother in a crisis, which they know is there. And Dean just wants his bed back! Are you listening Dr.? I hope she gains enough strength to do what she needs to do for herself. And He needs to grow up!

nonmember avatar sandy

First, the idea that the show is fake seems highly unlikely; Dean nor Tori appear excruciatingly broken and desperate. Plus, it would have meant asking an unknown waitress (Emily Goodhand) to put herself in the public eye as a woman who sleeps with a married man (one that she met only hours prior to their tryst). None if it is the kind of thing anyone would want to be associated with if they did not have to be.
As for the kids witnessing or learning of their parents' difficulties: They will one day, in some way, and ideally their parents' mistakes will be a cautionary tale. As a person whose parents were discreet and close-lipped to the point that any raised voice or tension between them signaled to me that the world would end, I strongly feel that children need to see that conflict and arguments occur. Then, people need to work through them, which can be a difficult process. Further, although a positive outcome is entirely possible, sometimes things do not work out: That is a life lesson that is best learned from a child's first ability to understand it. From playground to parenthood and beyond, people have to be able to address conflict in an honest and productive way.

nonmember avatar linda

First of all Dean looks terrible and he is being a real jerk to Tori. I always watched them in past in thier shows and thought they were a soild couple, but now I think Tori would be better without him.

lizilli lizilli

I have love the Tori and Dean shows in the past and couldn't bring myself to watch this one.  I am not really a reality show watcher and this type of painful, gut wrenching reality is too much information for me.  My heart breaks for these children.  Dean is not an uncommon man, I believe that most men would like to think that the honeymoon phase continues until death or divorce.  This is, of course, ridiculous, but men being men don't see the addition of house full of children as a reason to have a diminished sex life.  Tori should just ditch this foolish man and make a joyful life for herself and her children.  Dean will always be a man who wants more sex and while he might "settle" for less, it will always be that Dean has "settled" for less, no joy there!

nonmember avatar shar

I watched the show and I agree with the therapist that they both seem insecure and both of them need help.
I also think if they both want to save their marriage it would be a good idea to keep in therapy for as long as it takes. Before I watched the show I wasn't sure if they were just acting, but in some parts of the shows, things seem too real to be a act. Both Tori and Dean said they want to save their marriage and in my opinion its going to take a lot of work and a lot of both of them giving and taking. Tori needs to heal, not only from Deans cheating, but from her own past that gave her insecurities. Dean also needs to heal and work on his issues. I know everyone has villanized Dean as the bad guy, but what I see is he is hurting inside too and he also has added addictions and needs help. Anyone can change if they get the help they need and they are willing to change. Hopefully Dean will.
I almost felt sorry for him in this last episode because it seems Tori isn't able to forgive him and is still very angry. As much as I understand how she feels, I can also see its not helping Dean's own self esteem issues. She needs to let the therapist work on both her and Dean and I hope for the both of them they heal and become healthy, loving couple for the sake of not only their marriage, but also for their four little children.

nonmember avatar tori sucks

You know what brings tears to my eyes? That there are actually people who are so insipidly inane that they watch this drivel and actually care about this vile family. Your heart breaks for these children? Is it the fact that they will never want for anything in their lives, or does your heart break because they are being coached by acting teachers? Tori Spelling has been forcing us to watch her bottom of the gene pool mug for approximately 24 years now. Will it ever stop? Who actually asks to see more of Tori Spelling, to watch her t.v. shows? I can't even look at that horribly distorted, disgusting face for more than 2 seconds without getting nauseous. She is quite literally the ugliest person on the planet. In fact, she looks as if she is an alien not of this Earth. She is so ugly on the inside that it manifests itself in all it's hideous glory on the outside. This despicable woman will do anything and everything to make a buck. And she has swindled all of you to believe the lies that spew forth from her horrid mouth. Sure, feel sorry for Tori Spelling. Wow.

LeeshaE LeeshaE

My parents went through a very emotional divorce in which my dad cheated on mom multiple times. My brother and I were in junior high at the time and we knew everything. From me catching my dad looking at a sexy picture of his mistress and having to tell my mom to people knocking on our door telling her, "you know your husbands down at the bar with so n so." Any questions I had were truthfully answered and I cannot count how many times I went out with my mom and later my dad's girlfriends to track him down at his regular watering holes with his flavor of the week. That said I think a certain amount of exposure marital strife can be beneficial but total exposure will give your kid a complex. That parenting book my mom read that suggested being completely honest with your kids was bad advice. Fifteen years later my parents divorce still infects my view on love and marriage with cynicism, to the point that I haven't even had a serious bf in 3 years because I don't trust anyone but myself and am happier single. My brother on the other hand is a bar whore like my dear father.

nonmember avatar robbie

I have gone threw this. Im not someone of hollywood and nor to many heard my story. I think what they are doing by going for counceling. It is so hard to go threw someone like this when all you every tought is your the one that he loved most. I hope they make it. I like Dean but we are human and going to make mistakes.

Shari... Sharileeheart

Tori my heart breaks for you. I've been there and I know you are torn between making your family complete and trying to trust again... I could not maybe you can either-or way I

Will pray for you























T

Shari... Sharileeheart

Tori my heart breaks for you. I've been there and I know you are torn between making your family complete and trying to trust again... I could not maybe you can either-or way I

Will pray for you























T

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