Taylor Swift’s New Extreme Diet Is Totally Disturbing

taylor swiftThis morning's biggest celeb news was such a bummer, I can hardly stand to tell you. Over the weekend, while at an uber-cool, model-studded party in New York City, Taylor Swift ordered herself a piece of bread and some water. We're not even sure she actually ate that bread or if it was just a token gesture. Oh my stars and garters, could our Taylor be starving herself? Is this some new diet we should worry about, the new "Order Bread and Then Stare at It Longingly" diet? Why not order cocktails and oysters like a normal celeb, Swift? WHY.

We won't know until her publicist issues a statement explaining her spartan night out. (Aaaany minute now ...) But until then, I have a few theories about why Taylor Swift would order bread and water at a party at a hip restaurant.

1. It was all part of Taylor's ongoing project to make herself into the DULLEST celebrity ever to walk the planet. So far this plan is succeeding. 

2. Taylor is trolling us. She ordered bread on purpose because she knew it would spawn a thousand faux-concern blog posts. Like this one! Well played, Swift. You got me.

3. It's her misguided attempt at honoring Mother's Day by portraying the stereotypical self-sacrifice of mothers. "Oh no, nothing fancy for me, just bread and water will do."

4. This is Taylor's idea of indulging. Every other day of the week, it's kale salad and green juice, but when she's ready to party on the weekend, it's carbs: OMG, a piece of bread! GLUTEN, BABY!

5. It's performance art inspired by Shia LaBeouf and James Franco. I guess?

6. It was a polite gesture. Taylor felt obligated to order something since she was taking up space at the restaurant, but since it was 10:30 at night, she wasn't especially hungry, and she didn't want to order a cocktail because she's Taylor Swift.

7. There's something weird about ordering bread and water at a restaurant?

Why do you think Taylor ordered nothing but bread and water when she went out the other night?

 

Image via Pacific Coast News

taylor swift, celebrity gossip

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Allison Schmidt

If I were famous, I'd do that. Just to see what people would say. She probably did that just because she could.

nonmember avatar joe

Who the hell dines at 10:30 PM? Seems like perfectly reasonable thing to do to pass on some heavier food before going to bed.

nonmember avatar jim/dee

Is this the most exciting news you can put on this site ? ?... So tired of hearing about everything she does ! !... Is this the most exciting news you can come up with?... I suggest you close this site !! !JUST SAYING...

Queu Bond

Next time just try to be more creative when writing BS articals about Swift. She looks great and seems to be enjoying a rewarding life.

nonmember avatar justme

Maybe she wasn't feeling well or just did n feel like eating. My lord this is the dumbest article I've ever read. She orders bread and water and all of a sudden shes starving herself? Thats just stupid.

nonmember avatar dude

I think you need a life this is a total non story! If you check Taylors history instead of basing your conclusions on a stupid article in page 6. You would know Taylor is a gourmet cook and known to be a big eater. She works out two hours a day that's how she stays thin. And I would say #6 is probably closest to the truth or maybe she shared with someone and what high end restaurant doesn't have bread on the table. 1 meal at one restaurant and this you use to come up with an assessment of someone's personality . This is truly SAD typically mean gossip that this site continues to write about Taylor!

nonmember avatar Nina

How about she was thirsty and bread at an expensive restaurant usually comes with water? Jesus, you people overreact so much.

Monika Begdouri

ONE meal (or lackthereof) does not a diet make. I mean, really, are you being serious, calling this one occasion of a bread-and-water order a "new extreme diet"? Pleeeease, go find something worthwhile to write about.

nonmember avatar Truth be Told

Leave Taylor Swift alone.

Consider another occupation, you are worth more than that...

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