Robert PattinsonIf you ever wondered what Robert Pattinson would look like if he were an infantryman crawling around the Vietnam jungle, then wonder no more. He'd probably kind of look like this -- but with some twigs sticking out of his helmet. Or maybe this is what Rob would look like after working 72 hours straight in a coal mine. Or perhaps if he went to a spa and got a mud bath. I don't know. I don't know what the hell is going on! I just know Rob is covered with what looks like mud on the cover of the French edition of Premiere.

The cover is a Cannes edition and it features Maps to the Stars, Rob's upcoming movie directed by David Cronenberg, so no doubt the movie will premiere there. And I would guess Rob might be there too.

Maybe he's hoping all of the mud on his face will disguise him to the point where Kristen Stewart won't recognize him if she too goes to Cannes? I dunno. I'm just crazy talkin' now.

Actually, it's probably not mud but brownish paint. Because you can see some white on his face too. And it looks like he has lipstick on. Some kind of Jackson Pollock thing going on here.

Perhaps Rob wanted to cover up his pretty boy face so he could keep nabbing serious acting roles, like the ones in Maps to the Stars, The Rover, and Life.

But how to explain that checkered flowered shirt he's got on? I guess I'll just have to give up wondering what this whole thing is about. It's France. It's art. It's ... something.

Do you like the cover?

 

Image via George Pimentel/Getty