It's the hair-dragging moment we've all been waiting for since news broke that Porsha Williams (and her fabulous mugshot) spent some time in the clink for it! That's right. It's Real Housewives of Atlanta reunion time! The episode started off snooze-tastically but ended with a literal bang. Porsha grabbed Kenya Moore and dragged her to the ground in the most GIF-able moment I've e'er seen on reality television.
If god is merciful, the insanity will only continue next week on the second installment of the reunion. Even though I knew it was coming, I remained shocked that it was Porsha who erupted into violence. I should qualify that statement: I was pleasantly shocked -- maybe her new boobs have given her some Lady-Hulk rage superpowers? Whatever the cause, I'm in full support.
I condone violence. That's right, I said it: Sometimes logic and reason are useless and the only effective tool is a bitch-fight. Again, qualifications are necessary here: I only feel this way in terms of reality television, not, like, the crisis in the Ukraine.
But we aren't talking about Vladimir Putin (and more's the pity). We are talking about Kenya Moore. The woman whose insanity is so vast and inviting of ire that every woman gathered on Andy Cohen's couch had a completely understandable reason for wanting to drag her across Bravo's top-quality reunion floor.
New working theory: If you are the villain on a reality show, do not bring a scepter and brandish it in the faces of your enemies. Unless you actually have a working knowledge of the dark arts, this will only inspire them to physical assault.
I'm furious with Porsha, but not for the reasons you'd expect. I'm mad because she allowed herself to fall for another one of Kenya's ploys. Now Madame Moore has something else to hold over her. If you doubt that she is the Iago in this tragedy, let me point out that rather than start crying about being embarrassed or hurt ... she started wailing for Porsha to be fired from the show. Boooo hissss!
Somewhere Velvet (who Kenya probably shipped off to live with her "African Prince" ... you know what I'm saying here) is looking on with disgust. RIP, Velvet: You were too good for this world.
Do you think Kenya planned the whole thing?