Demi Moore Is Plotting Her Ashton Kutcher Revenge Already

Demi MooreThere is really no kick in the pants like finding out your ex is having a baby with his new girlfriend -- especially if that ex cheated on you (probably repeatedly). So I feel for Demi Moore. I really do. I don't care what people say about their age difference, Ashton Kutcher was fully aware of that when he chose to marry her. If he was too polite to ask her age, all he had to do was read the five gazillion articles about it. So, I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say he had eyes wide open. And now he's going to marry the much-younger Mila Kunis and is having a baby with her. Why wouldn't Demi want crazy-ass revenge?! I would! I mean, I would want to watch her get her crazy-ass revenge, because I'm far too mature for that kind of thing myself (ahem). But Demi is not! So let's hear her crafty plot!

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According to sources over at RadarOnline, Demi is convinced that the sisterhood of America has a great gulping need for all things Demi right now, since they totally think she got a raw deal and feel sorry for her. The source says:

Now there’s a real demand for her. She’s learning that female fans really identify with her and hate the way Ashton behaved. The public wants more -- of Demi!

Hmm. Is it me or does this sound like it came straight from the mouth of Demi? Anyway, it all sounds a little fantastical, but I agree that Demi could have a second act as a Real Housewife of Beverly Hills (or Montana, or wherever she's living). I mean, it worked for Brandi Glanville. I could totally see Demi writing a tell-all about Ashton's cheating ways and how she got HPV. I mean, if she did. She probably didn't. I'm channeling Brandi right now.

So what will Demi do now that there's so much demand for her? The source says:

Demi is insisting on laying low ... [until] the fall. And she plans to re-emerge with a message ... When she does re-enter public life, she is going to be ready to talk about her body and the issues she’s had with it over the years. Her new catchphrase is, "Be honest -- about everything!" It’s a new approach her fans are sure to love!

Seriously, this sounds like Demi, right? Who else would say this?

Anyway, I do hope Demi reemerges from her Ashton-enforced cocoon of heartbreak. She is probably the best-looking 51-year-old on the planet. I'd love to hear how she did that. And I'd really love to hear how skeevy Ashton was. You know you do too. 

Would you like to hear more from Demi?

 

Image via Stephen Lovekin/Getty

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