Michelle Duggar Shares the Secret to Having Sex After 19 Kids

Michelle Duggar Jim Bob DuggarWhoever thinks motherhood is not sexy has not met Michelle Duggar. Yes, that's right, I'm talking about the matriarch of the Arkansas family most famous for having a ton of kids and letting TLC film them all. The Duggars are about to head back to TV next week with the premiere of the eighth season of 19 Kids & Counting on April 1, and while she might prefer conservative clothes and quote the Bible on the regular, when it comes to embracing her sexuality, Michelle Duggar is a thoroughly modern woman.

The mother of 19 sat down with The Stir to talk about how she finds time (and privacy!) for babymaking, and the secret to still being attracted to your husband after all these years. Some of it may surprise you!

On what kind of man she wants for her daughters:

[Jim Bob] wants a right relationship with God, and because of that, it gives me security. I just admire him.

Men need that admiration from their woman. They want to be admired; they want to be looked up to like, Oh, he's so brave; he's so courageous, he's so strong; he's so wonderful and he'd go to bat for me and he'd lay down his life for me and he'd be willing to die for me.

I think as women, truly when a man humbles himself before God and us, and shares his struggles, his failures -- not only does he share his dreams and hopes for the future, but shares all that other stuff -- we truly just admire them for who they are.

That's what I say to my daughters who have been asking these questions about approaching the possibility of marriage. That is what it's really all about.

On why she puts her husband ahead of her kids: 

Jim Bob and I are so close, but it comes from knowing the Lord and having those common goals and direction in life. The communication level is so deep for us; there isn't anything we haven't shared with one another. We purposed early on in our relationship to be totally open and honest with each other.

When he shares his heart with me -- he doesn't have to, but he bares it all -- I know that my heart's safe with him.

I just feel that there's so much insecurity in life, but my children know that our relationship is secure, our relationship comes first ... that gives our children security because they know we're in this 'til death do us part.

More From The Stir: Michelle Duggar on What It's Really Like to Have 19 Kids

There's never been a discussion about divorce because it's not a part of our vocabulary ... our kids have stability because our relationship has stability.

On finding time for sex in a house full of kids:

Obviously it's not that hard! Married men and women realize it's a needful part of life. It's that sweetness of the relationship. You'll find a way! You'll find time!

On being interrupted:

Everything is urgent for a child under the age of 6; there's not anything that's not urgent.

I'm sure many couples besides Jim Bob and me can attest to some very funny moments in marriage when you've got children that are knocking on doors or talking or whatever, and you're realizing this is part of being married and having children and making those two things work together.

We definitely [have a lock on the door] and we encourage that! We wrote in our book, you definitely need a lock on the door and children need to know that's just mom and dad time. Sometimes we are honestly talking, and other times we might be doing more than talking and that's OK too!

On why a wife owes her husband sex:

My friend Gala gave me some wise advice before I got married ... she said to me, Michelle, I am so excited for you; I know you are just thrilled, you're the sweet little bride-to-be, but there's some advice I want to give you. There's going to be the day that will come when you're in your marriage, everything's going along just fine, but you've got the stress, maybe a new baby, you're tired, you come to the end of the day and you're exhausted and you drop into bed ready to fall asleep. You need to realize that you are the only one who can meet that need for your husband. Anybody can iron his shirts, anyone can fix him lunch or he can get lunch out if he can afford it. Anybody can do those other things for him, but only you can meet that intimate need he has in his life. It might not at that moment be a need for you, but it is for him. Don't forget that.

I can remember through the years in our relationship that advice ringing in my ears as I dropped into bed. My feet literally would hit the floor running and I would not stop until I dropped into bed exhausted because I had lots of little ones and the business of life to keep up with, and that advice has been so valuable.

On owning her sexuality:

Honestly ... it is a stress reliever for both of us! It is a good thing! It's not a bad thing! More women need to realize that it really is a wonderful thing and a stress reliever for both of you. I think that part isn't spoken enough in our communication, wives to wives.

What do you think of Michelle's open attitude about sex? Are you surprised? 

Image via TLC

duggars, reality tv


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rkkel... rkkeller13

I truly admire Michelle and Jim Bob. I also envy them too. It makes me want to better my relationship with God and my Husband. But honestly I have no idea where to start, lol. I wish Michelle and her many years of happiness and love.

nonmember avatar FarmersWife

Love them and how selfless their devotion is! Inspiring that they can make life and love so simple when they just trust in each other and are willing to bend for one another.

kayba... kaybayblee3

I know people dog them for all their children that they have and want to have, but you have to hand it to them. How long have they been married? How happy do they always look? How well-adjusted and well-behaved are their children? I love to watch their show. It's not drama, and constant bleeping.

nonmember avatar me

I dont agree all on their choices or the ways they live but I like watching them. Its just drama free, unlike almost any other reality show. They are well behaved, kind, good people. I do enjoy some of the more dramatic reality shows too, but im happy the show hasnt changed them.

Rebecca Crowder Clark

Don't you know that every time they lock that bedroom door, the other kids are standing outside of it saying, "Dang! There they go making another baby that WE KIDS have to take care of!"

abbys... abbysmom12913

I love watching there family they have truly been an inspiration to my family and they way they do things. They r truly a sweet family who loves n cherishes each other and the Lord

@Rebecca Crowder Clark obviously u kno nothing about this family there children were brought up to love the lord n to believe in his teaching one of which was "children are a blessing from God" their children are truly excited everytime a new sibling or a niece or nephew is going to join their family. Honestly i do not enjoy saying anything negative about anyone but if u dont have anything nice ti saDont say anyanything at all especially if u do not kno anything about this family your comment was rude n tactless how would you feel if someone said that about your own children please think before you speak next time n take other peoples feelings into account . I truly hope god blesses u n your family n that no one ever criticizes you.

God bless the duggar family onmany more happy years

nonmember avatar JJ

Sorry but I have to agree with Rebecca...I'm all for big families and children helping out to make the household run more smoothly...but when I saw a couple of the teenage girls "baby wearing" their own siblings during a shopping trip that's where I draw the line...if you can't take care of each child yourself...then maybe it is time to just enjoy the kids you have!

nonmember avatar H

I imagine its like throwing a hot dog down a hallway after 19.....

nonmember avatar Anna Hynes varl

I found Michelle's advice on how to have a a successful marriage dangerous. A lot of young girls will visit this site and possibly be taken in . A marriage is a union of equals . Michelle's advice to always indulge in "relations " with your husband . no matter how you feel is plain wrong. It encourages the husband to always put his wishes, urges , before yours. Try finding the equality within marriage ,,male self control, or any kind of love in that!!!!. A truly loving husband would say " you look so tired , have a good sleep, I love you". All of her advice centres on submission by the female to the male , his needs must always be met, his ego soothed. Michelle will then tell you that when all his urges are met , and his ego sufficiently inflated , he will feel like a happy man and you will benifit!!!!!. I think you will not. Find a partner for life who will respect you and your feelings.

misha... mishamama

Lmao. What a tool.

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