Whoever thinks motherhood is not sexy has not met Michelle Duggar. Yes, that's right, I'm talking about the matriarch of the Arkansas family most famous for having a ton of kids and letting TLC film them all. The Duggars are about to head back to TV next week with the premiere of the eighth season of 19 Kids & Counting on April 1, and while she might prefer conservative clothes and quote the Bible on the regular, when it comes to embracing her sexuality, Michelle Duggar is a thoroughly modern woman.
The mother of 19 sat down with The Stir to talk about how she finds time (and privacy!) for babymaking, and the secret to still being attracted to your husband after all these years. Some of it may surprise you!
On what kind of man she wants for her daughters:
[Jim Bob] wants a right relationship with God, and because of that, it gives me security. I just admire him.
Men need that admiration from their woman. They want to be admired; they want to be looked up to like, Oh, he's so brave; he's so courageous, he's so strong; he's so wonderful and he'd go to bat for me and he'd lay down his life for me and he'd be willing to die for me.
I think as women, truly when a man humbles himself before God and us, and shares his struggles, his failures -- not only does he share his dreams and hopes for the future, but shares all that other stuff -- we truly just admire them for who they are.
That's what I say to my daughters who have been asking these questions about approaching the possibility of marriage. That is what it's really all about.
On why she puts her husband ahead of her kids:
Jim Bob and I are so close, but it comes from knowing the Lord and having those common goals and direction in life. The communication level is so deep for us; there isn't anything we haven't shared with one another. We purposed early on in our relationship to be totally open and honest with each other.
When he shares his heart with me -- he doesn't have to, but he bares it all -- I know that my heart's safe with him.
I just feel that there's so much insecurity in life, but my children know that our relationship is secure, our relationship comes first ... that gives our children security because they know we're in this 'til death do us part.
More From The Stir: Michelle Duggar on What It's Really Like to Have 19 Kids
There's never been a discussion about divorce because it's not a part of our vocabulary ... our kids have stability because our relationship has stability.
On finding time for sex in a house full of kids:
Obviously it's not that hard! Married men and women realize it's a needful part of life. It's that sweetness of the relationship. You'll find a way! You'll find time!
On being interrupted:
Everything is urgent for a child under the age of 6; there's not anything that's not urgent.
I'm sure many couples besides Jim Bob and me can attest to some very funny moments in marriage when you've got children that are knocking on doors or talking or whatever, and you're realizing this is part of being married and having children and making those two things work together.
We definitely [have a lock on the door] and we encourage that! We wrote in our book, you definitely need a lock on the door and children need to know that's just mom and dad time. Sometimes we are honestly talking, and other times we might be doing more than talking and that's OK too!
On why a wife owes her husband sex:
My friend Gala gave me some wise advice before I got married ... she said to me, Michelle, I am so excited for you; I know you are just thrilled, you're the sweet little bride-to-be, but there's some advice I want to give you. There's going to be the day that will come when you're in your marriage, everything's going along just fine, but you've got the stress, maybe a new baby, you're tired, you come to the end of the day and you're exhausted and you drop into bed ready to fall asleep. You need to realize that you are the only one who can meet that need for your husband. Anybody can iron his shirts, anyone can fix him lunch or he can get lunch out if he can afford it. Anybody can do those other things for him, but only you can meet that intimate need he has in his life. It might not at that moment be a need for you, but it is for him. Don't forget that.
I can remember through the years in our relationship that advice ringing in my ears as I dropped into bed. My feet literally would hit the floor running and I would not stop until I dropped into bed exhausted because I had lots of little ones and the business of life to keep up with, and that advice has been so valuable.
On owning her sexuality:
Honestly ... it is a stress reliever for both of us! It is a good thing! It's not a bad thing! More women need to realize that it really is a wonderful thing and a stress reliever for both of you. I think that part isn't spoken enough in our communication, wives to wives.
What do you think of Michelle's open attitude about sex? Are you surprised?
Image via TLC