I wonder if he's scared of snakes. Oh, sorry, you just caught me deep in thought over the breaking (but still rumored) news that Disney has tapped Bradley Cooper to be the new Indiana Jones. I know, it kind of sounded like blasphemy to me too, at first. For as long as the movies have been around, there's only been one grown-up Indy, and we love us our crotchety Doctor Jones.
But Harrison Ford fans, here's some stuff worth considering. The original Indy is 71 years old, slated to appear in the new Star Wars movie (I know, that made me pee a little too). That means he's going to be pretty tied up for the foreseeable future. And if we learned nothing else from The Crystal Skull (and we didn't), it's that while our love for Harrison Ford will never wane, there's something slightly tragi-comic about an aged Indy.
I think Bradley Cooper will be a great fit. Sigh. That took me a long time (and a couple of tequila shots) to type. Mainly because when it comes to celebrities, Bradley Cooper the Celebrity puts my teeth on edge. He seems like he tries too hard, that he's phony, ambitious, and I don't like his serial monogamy habits ... she wrote as though she knew him personally. But Bradley Cooper the Actor? I kind of dig that guy. He knows his stuff. He's good at his craft. His face reminds me of a what a lion would look like if he became a human man. Here are 5 reasons he's the perfect successor.
1. He Handsome as Balls
I'm not normally into the whole blue-eyed, blonde handsome thing, but the dude's looks are undeniable. Indiana Jones is sassy. Cooper could sass me all night long.
2. ... But, Like, Real-Life Handsome
Remember, Indy is also a mild-mannered professor. Cooper's still got that 'guy you might actually see on the street' appeal. That said, if he ever tried to teach me about ancient civilizations, I'd be all, "Away with you, Bradley Cooper!"
3. He Looks Smart With Glasses On
He does, though!
4. He Could Probably Beat Up a Nazi
While he's no Bruce Willis, Cooper's got juuuust the right amount of action chops necessary to send a car full of Nazis straight to hell.
5. He's So Different From Harrison Ford
Harrison Ford is sarcastic, sardonic, wry, and snarky. We love him for all these traits. These are traits Cooper doesn't have, as a rule. And that's awesome. In making the role his own, he'll bring in a huge new fan-base without alienating the old one.
Do you think Bradley Cooper would be a good Indy? If not, who would you cast in the role?
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