Former Bachelorette Desiree Hartsock couldn't sound more psyched to head down the aisle and say "I do" to fiance Chris Siegfried, but anyone who watched her season of the show knows that her heart was originally set on another suitor ... Brooks Forester was clearly her fave from the get-go, but he bailed on her in Antigua, and before we knew it, she was saying "Yes!" to Chris's proposal. Our heads were left spinning. What was up with that? Well, apparently, it had to do with Des following her head instead of her heart. Which is exactly what she just advised current Bachelorette Andi Dorfman to do.
Speaking to YourTango, Des revealed that she and Andi had a tete-a-tete at Juan Pablo's After the Final Rose shoot, and the bride-to-be broke it down for the assistant district attorney ...
I told her to follow her heart, but to also trust her mind. Too often, we lead with our heart and that can get us hurt, since infatuation will not last.
Interesting. I can definitely see her point, as pure lust or unrequited infatuation is never the best foundation for a long-term relationship. And when you pick a life partner, you can't be all rainbows and unicorns about it. Whether we like it or not, partnerships can't be based on romance and racing heartbeats alone. You have to consider (financial, religious, sexual, etc.) compatibility and mutual respect and admiration, among other factors.
But this also makes me a bit sad for Des, because we KNOW she has to be speaking from experience. And the way she makes it sound, she took the safe route with Chris. Worst case scenario: Maybe she's not really as head-over-heels for him as she was for Brooks, but she felt like sticking with Chris would be the practical, logical choice. Eek. I know I said relationships can't subsist on romance alone, but your heart does have to be in it!
Hopefully, Des's heart is. And Andi realizes what Des was getting at here ... Considering how quickly Andi wrote off Juan Pablo when she realized all they had was a bit of fleeting sexual chemistry, I think she gets it. I feel like she's not going to settle unless she finds the guy who is the whole package, who can satisfy her mind and her heart.
What do you think about Des's advice? Does it make you think twice about her connection with Chris?
Image via Chris Siegfried/Instagram