Well I always knew this would happen someday, just not this way. A man is suing over Miley Cyrus' tongue. (I know, right? I'm amazed it hasn't happened already, too.) But he's not suing Miley's actual tongue, the one in her mouth. His beef is with a slide in the shape of Miley's tongue that comes out of a giant Miley face on her Bangerz tour. Okay, whose idea was it to make a humungo-sized replica of Miley's tongue in the first place? That was just asking for trouble.
Charles Nicholas Sarris helped construct the tongue slide for the equipment company ShowFx Inc. He claims the construction equipment the company gave him to use failed, causing him to fall and injure himself. He also claims ShowFx failed to warn him of the dangers involved in constructing a Miley tongue, which ... well, whatever, the point is, he's now suing the company for unspecified damages.
I'm sorry Sarris was hurt on the job. We all care about safety and no one wants to see anyone get hurt on Miley's watch. Miley is all about good times and good vibes, y'all! But like I said, I'm surprised there isn't a lawsuit against her real tongue. Think of all the people who must have a problem with it.
Robin Thicke: His marriage is a wreck now, thanks to Miley's giant foam finger, thrusting pelvis, and overactive tongue. Could seek $1 million in damages for each part.
Liam Hemsworth: Once there was only love. But then Miley discovered the magic allure of her tongue, and she started sharing it with the world. Miley's tongue killed Liam's love. And that's just sad. I'd say that's worth about $5 million, although who can place a price on love?
Parents of Miley fans: Thanks to Miley, parents all over America now spend dinnertime saying things like, "Will you please put your tongue back into your mouth? No one wants to see that!" They are not grateful to Miley for making their tweens stick out their tongues like that all the time. Gross. $10 million as part of a class action lawsuit, easy.
Who else could sue Miley Cyrus' tongue?
Image via Christopher Polk/Getty